Are You Going to Lead or am I?

Dancing is one of my favorite things. I didn't like dancing as a young lady in middle school. I felt uncomfortable on the dance floor and disco was the main music being played at the time. The only place to dance was at home in my room or at a school dance, and thank goodness they didn't occur very often.

When I was 16, I had my first job and it was at the mall. There were two ladies in their early 20's who I became friends with. They asked me several times to go dancing with them at Coldwater Country, a local watering hole that played country and western music. Although, I was intrigued, the issue was finding a fake ID for me to use.

One of them was from a small town that I ended up living in as an adult in my 30's which is another story altogether. Anyway, she was going home for the weekend and invited me to join her. Upon arrival to her parent's house, we found out that there was a dance that weekend, which we attended. She introduced me to a friend of hers that was a good dancer and asked him to give me a tour of the dance floor.

We danced all night, and it was one of the greatest lessons of my life. I learned how to two step, waltz, jitterbug, Cotton-eyed Joe, and some others that I can't remember the names of. I had a great time, and I wish I could say the same about him, and I don't remember his name, but I am sure it wasn't fun teaching someone how to dance.

Not too long after our return to my hometown, a fake ID materialized and we all went out to Coldwater for dancing and drinking. I danced with the same guy again, nearly all night except for a dance or two with someone else I knew, including my older brother, who ws surprised to see me there. :0

Since then, I have danced many nights away with many different men, to very different music and other ways to dance, including Punk Rock, 80's music, ballroom dancing and 50's jitterbug music. As you know, everyone dances a bit different, and as the years have passed I have found that many men do not lead when dancing cheek to cheek.

Men who do lead are in my book "real men". They know how to dance (in more ways than one), they know how to make the right moves at the right time leading a woman to move with them successfully, they make me look good, even when I am not sure what I am doing. They lead so well that I do the steps or moves without even thinking about it, it is very natural and comfortable.

They also ask you who is going to lead, to let you know that they are capable of being in charge and even though they will listen to you, listen to your desires, and cater to you, they are the one who is leading.

It is a hard thing to explain to others I found this week. Just as the terms you use for things are different, like I say "people have baggage", someone I know says "People have drama" which is something completely different to me, but the same thing to them.

I am strong enough to lead, but I don't want to. If/when I have another man in my life, I want him to lead and be strong enough to handle my humor and headstrong thoughts.

So the title of this blog comes from a friend of mine, who, in another life, might have been that man, but not in this one... but it doesn't stop him from asking it when I try to lead (which is from my "having to" lead when the man around didn't). I love it when he asks, I just smile and say... "You are!" ;) and I let him... I smile everytime I think of him asking that question, and I look forward to the next time I get to converse with him.