Thursday, July 31, 2008


I have been unpacking boxes
unpacking boxes
unpacking boxes

.... a sea of boxes is right

and furniture
that beckons to be cleaned
with Murphy's Oil Soap
then oiled
as it drinks in the new life
from the tung oil

my bed is covered with items
overflowing from drawers
that need to have more useful contents
like clothing

my dirty clothes hamper
is overflowing,
eagerly awaiting their turn
in the washer down the hall
looking forward to the fresh smell
of Downey
or the dryer sheets

empty boxes block my front door
my only door really,
even though there are 3 more,
none of them reach the ground safely

the dumpster beckons
to be fed
and my back
begs for mercy

the pool is calling my name
and yet,
in order to have company this weekend
I must continue
on my quest
rid my new home
of all boxes
cardboard in nature
and to have a new
resting place for all that
made the cut
and traveled uptown with me...

then it will be my oasis
and not just a mirage
calling my name

the light at the end of the tunnel
is dim
but it is there
and hopefully will flood my world
in two days or so

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Boxes, Boxes, Boxes

A smile creeps across my face
everytime I

walk in the door
across the dark wood floors

gaze out the window
finding the sparkling pool beckoning to me

realize my clothes can now be
washed with the blink of a button

think about how great
it is to be in my new home

and that is with the sea of boxes
that I have yet to unpack

Just imagine what it will be like
when they are all empty and
I am so well put together and organized

Perhaps then you would like to come over
for a cocktail on the patio
over looking the pool or
take a dip in the pool with me
on a hot summer evening

For now, the boxes beckon me
to release their captives
to new resting places
and remove them from my home
so that I can say
I am truly
moved in.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Moving Day

Today the movers arrive
to carry a sea of boxes,
heavy furniture, and
odds and ends
to my new home.

I am very excited
last night was
THE Last Night

I would sleep in
my old abode
and tonight

tonight is the first
night I will spend
in my wonderful new home.

Usually, I have had this same feeling
being excited about something new
but the coincidences
and happenings
regarding my new place
are a new rare gift
that I have not experienced at this level
for a very long time
if ever.

New furniture
found at a steal of a price
that goes perfectly in the space
and works with my decor motif

wanting a "dressy"
beach chair
like the wooden ones you see
along New England Beaches
in pictures

a leather lounge chair
with the wooden design
to resemble just that appears
at a great price
practically new

Four new chairs needed to compliment
a table I have
but is not in use at this time

Missing ladder back chairs
of the past,
I find 4 that are in great shape
and they are priced so low
and the table comes with them
a heavy, knotty pine top
with white legs

barstools, of which I have none
and know not where to start
I find some that match
ladder backs and all
and email the man
Today a response
three days later
he does still have them

so many coincidences
great things are happening
and I am going to enjoy them all

now it is time
to get out of bed
take the last shower here
and finish up packing
so that when I get there
I can start unpacking
and rearranging

The sun is shining
the birds are singing
and I am soo excited...

You are welcome to come
dip your toes in my pool anytime
have a libation
on the big chair
on the balcony
and be soothed
by the waterfall down below...
I have enough beach towels
for everyone!

Tuesday, July 15, 2008


Going through the Process
The process of a job hunt
The process of a house hunt
The process of filling out an application
for a job
or a place to live
Last Wednesday
I arrived at the home of a lovely lady
who was taking care of the application
and leasing of the condo of my dreams
Gray hair, wobbly walk,
no patience for cell phones,
much less computers
she is half way between my mom's age
and my grandmothers...
mid 80's
don't be fooled
she is as sharp as a tack
I sat down on a deep burgandy sofa
with her life history all around me
family photos and portraits on the mantle
blue chair and table
her husband's love corner
since his passing
polite friendly chatting
as I sat and wrote down
all my information
the air cut by the shrill ring
of a traditional land line phone
the condo manager's voice
booming from the other end
of the line

Is the condo rented yet?
he inquired

Well, yes...
she replied with trepidation
someone is here right now filling out the application

another question or two and then they hung up.

I was nervous when I left
not knowing how well I would
check out

remembering how I am always
nervous after filling out a housing ap
no matter where it is

my new gray haired friend
assured me I would know something
by Friday at noon
Thursday I was a wreck
but I tried to hide it
and time went quickly until 1 pm
class with new team members
friendly lunch and getting to know each other
driving to the Muse's house
to visit before her big trips out of town
for over a week

but in between lunch
and the muse
I asked two men
to do me a favor

please call
please call and find out
if the condo is still available

thinking that if my application
was not good enough
they would say it was

both did not want to call
thought me silly
oh you will get it
they both retorted
one did call
but he was flustered
not a good sleuth at all
and the right questions were not asked

so back to wondering
what would happen
worrying I wouldn't get the place
of my dreams
and the angst kicked in
by Friday
it was at full steam
the muse understood
she said the right things
she didn't try to reassure me
that I was being silly and the place was mine
she just changed the subject and
kept my mind off it
as best she could
and she understood my mood
and didn't take it personally
Friday evening came
and the phone rang
as you know
the place is now mine

Monday I drove over
to sign official papers
and my new friend
who is old and wise
informed me
It was a good thing
I filled out the ap
when I did
two others were waiting
to do the same
wanting the same place

so there was a reason
I felt such angst
it could have gone
another way
for someone else
and I would not have had
the chance to have
the perfect place....

see... women do have

and the nicest thing I can say
about the two men
who just didn't

Men don't have

Saturday, July 12, 2008

A List Full and More

Last February I told them
I told them
I wanted to move
I wanted to move right then
but I said I would be moving
when my lease was up
in the summer

and then so much happened

moving my workspace
and all that filled it
and storing it here
and there

note appearing
words informing
the term was over
and notice was given
so the time had come
to find another space
to inhabit

panic set it
I looked in the paper
found two prospective homes
called, drove, inspected
one had tons of space
wood floors (that leaned)
huge kitchen (ancient cabinets
but not many of them)
large bathroom (with original
fixtures from a long time passed)
the drawbacks were:
window ac units

the second one had
wood floors in great shape
friendly landlord living on property
style and construction I love
updated wiring
custom painted walls (not white, but neutral)
Cute Cute Cute
Clean Clean Clean
great price that included
wireless internet
and cable

the downfalls were
no washer dryer hookups
no pool
no patio
window ac units
no heater

but I loved it
and normally would have
jumped at the chance to have it
but I refrained

it was a day before a planned trip home
for the 4th of July

so contemplation

search continued
when returning home
trip over and fireworks extinguished

disappointment set in
apt. hunters exclaimed
too many wants
can't all be filled

a prioritized list ensued

space with storage
for all the school stuff

ground floor preferable
(mom friendly)

washer/dryer hookups
so I can keep my quarters

Central Heat and air
for comforts sake
on me and my pocket book

Patio or yard
large enough for the big chair
and other yard furniture

Wood Floors
(I love them)

(really the number 1 on the list)

things that would be nice:


washer and dryer provided

two full bathrooms


second floor to make me feel secure
(hard to do without stairs)



entry way, not a door opening up to the whole room

calling and searching
reading and writing
calling some more
talking to people
waiting for calls
reading the paper
the muse calling with prospects
RJ offering financial suggestions

finally a
with security

a gated place
that most people own
a second floor condo
with no stairs
on a hill
covered parking
entry way
and all the above
a patio that wraps around
a south view
the end of the building
so comfy and cool
room for everything
and overlooking the pool
with waterfall soothing
as you stand among the trees

and I loved it immediately
so the process began

calling and wanting
and filling out forms
talking, chatting, being friendly
waiting for answers
nail biting
voice edgy
demeanor unruly
as fear filled my head

panicky looking
reading for more
what if it can't be mine
is there another out there
with all on my list?

driving to chat
looking, just that
no, it is big, but the floors lean
there is but one tub,
the yard will be work
there are bars on the windows
and hardly any locks on the doors
it has character
and charm of a time
that has passed
one time I would loved it
and taken it right away
now i just see the work it would be
cold in the winter
hot in the summer
window units sucking away
my sanity and my money

then an apt. claiming a yard
the rooms seemed cramped
the yard a joke
the noise from the highway
choking my brain

oh... I wished they would call
and tell me I made it
my dream home await
nothing else comes close

finally, a ring,
finally, a voice,
yes, yes, yes, it is yours

air is let out
from it's prison of angst

I can smile
I can smirk
I can go berzerk
I got it
I have it
I am so glad about it

you are all welcomed over
to warm it all up
in fact if you want
you can help carry a box
or a mattress
or dresser
or whatever you like

and now I passed through the door
having gone down the hall
a better place for me
A List Full and More

Friday, July 11, 2008

Just a Little Farther Down the Hall

It seems everyone has tons of advice
the one that always gets me
I hear the most
God has a reason
He is showing you a way
When He closes a door
He opens another one

Endings are what you get
before you get
a new

Not too long ago
I was told
one that I really liked

when God closes a door
He opens another one
but it might be a little further down the hall

I have been standing in that hall
several times lately
but I think I just went through a door

and now I find myself out in the hall again
for another reason

Things have been rocky with Tater of late
I thought it was the fact he has many changes
going on in his life
that are causing him uncertainty
and I know how much I hate that feeling
so I was thinking
be patient
it will get better
and for snippets of time
it did
and for snippets of time
it was comfortable
and then there were the snippets of time
when it was really not comfortable

I tried to listen,
I tried to be supportive,
I tried to be a good listener and not offer too much advice
I tried to not be offended at the cutting jokes, or when I was the butt of the joke, which occurred more than I would like to admit to....

I tried to understand that he
has to be built up
and sometimes
that was by tearing me down
at least that is how it felt

and this week
well this week
I could hold my tongue no longer
and it all came spilling out,
like a damn or a levy that had one too many cracks...
and as I got out of the car
when he couldn't get me home fast enough
and offered money to cover unkept promises
and I asked him why
he was handing me money
(which I did not take, as much as I could use it)
He said
"I'm Done"

and I was numb
and I still am

do I care?
or am I just in my protective shell
not letting myself feel the hurt
cuz I am numb
and I now I wish I had
grabbed the cash
but I didn't
so I can hold my head up high
and be glad I had scruples
and now...

I am single, single, single
and wandering down the hall
till God opens another
relationship door for me

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Showing You

My back was aching
feet dangling off the bed
back against a pillow
leaning back into the wall
laptop in hand
tv blaring in the background
eyes drooping
moody, glad the day is over
vegging out
after writing all day

tingling bells
jingle bells
rang out
the familiar sound of the front door opening

I called


my voice lounder
and more forceful
but with a bit of a question


hoping my youngest son
had come in the door


I reluctantly
set the laptop aside
and slide off the bed
peering down the stairs
with a bit of trepidation

questioning my sanity
and my hearing
was it really the door bells?
what could it have been instead?
Could someone be lurking downstairs?
mind racing with all possible scenarios
my foot slowly eases down a step
followed by the other one
and moving slowly
upon reaching the landing
my eyes scan the living room
no body
standing, walking or sitting
anywhere in the room
everything seems to be
where I left it
there on the door
on the inside
that wasn't there
when I lumbered in earlier
tired enough to go to slee
a white rectangular
taped to the door
stepping up my pace
I made a beeline to the entrance

After whipping the paper off the door
my eyes focused on it's content
My dazed mind
woke up quickly
when I realized
it was a notice
alerting me to the idea
and realization
that I would be moving
yes, moving, in less than a month
My thoughts moved toward
remembering what the ending date
of my lease might be
hmmm yes indeed
the day had passed
and they are as happy for me to leave
as I am to have the opportunity to

so... home hunting is my
my new hobby

.....more to come