It seems everyone has tons of advice
the one that always gets me
I hear the most
God has a reason
He is showing you a way
When He closes a door
He opens another one
or
Endings are what you get
before you get
a new
Beginning
Not too long ago
I was told
one that I really liked
when God closes a door
He opens another one
but it might be a little further down the hall
I have been standing in that hall
several times lately
but I think I just went through a door
and now I find myself out in the hall again
for another reason
Things have been rocky with Tater of late
I thought it was the fact he has many changes
going on in his life
that are causing him uncertainty
and I know how much I hate that feeling
so I was thinking
be patient
it will get better
and for snippets of time
it did
and for snippets of time
it was comfortable
and then there were the snippets of time
when it was really not comfortable
I tried to listen,
I tried to be supportive,
I tried to be a good listener and not offer too much advice
I tried to not be offended at the cutting jokes, or when I was the butt of the joke, which occurred more than I would like to admit to....
I tried to understand that he
has to be built up
and sometimes
that was by tearing me down
at least that is how it felt
and this week
well this week
I could hold my tongue no longer
and it all came spilling out,
like a damn or a levy that had one too many cracks...
and as I got out of the car
when he couldn't get me home fast enough
and offered money to cover unkept promises
and I asked him why
he was handing me money
(which I did not take, as much as I could use it)
He said
"I'm Done"
and I was numb
and I still am
do I care?
or am I just in my protective shell
not letting myself feel the hurt
cuz I am numb
and I now I wish I had
grabbed the cash
but I didn't
so I can hold my head up high
and be glad I had scruples
and now...
I am single, single, single
again....
and wandering down the hall
till God opens another
relationship door for me
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2 comments:
No man worth his manhood, for that matter, no secure human being needs to tear another person down to feel better about himself or herself. It is important to encourage our loved ones - partners, children, friends, family - but if there isn't anything to work with, then it's hypocrisy. That's the problem with the way we teach and are taught. We build up/are built up so much that we crumble under pressure. Bill Gates had it right when he said you need to earn self esteem. So, you're in a better position, though it might hurt now. No man should treat you any less than the kind, loving, generous hearted woman that you are. Tater, you are fried.
The kicker is... it doesn't hurt right now, and I don't think I am still in shock. I think he wore me down till I had nothing left to feel.
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