Saturday, January 27, 2007

Cleaning House



Today though
I need to

wash dishes
carry out trash
put away xmas stuff (it is boxed)

work on spare bedroom
(which looks like extra storage closet)

wash sheets
wash clothes

and there is more
but I think that is enough
for me today
as I recover
I had this week
was probably just the flu
but anyway

Friday, January 26, 2007


I started not feeling so well
LAST Saturday

I mean
I was kinda achey
my throat was a bit scratchy

but I packed
and drove to meet
Mr. Jones

We were an instant hit
we were having a great time

but still, I had the chills
my head hurt a bit

so I took some aspirin
and pushed through the pain
and we still
had a great time

Sunday morning came too soon
I didn't want to get out of bed
I was still having some achiness
all over
and after breakfast
we said our good byes
and I drove home

I then realized I was running
a fever
a killer fever
with chills that were rocking me
off the couch
So I took enough Advil
to kill anything
and laid down in the sun
all afternoon

Too sick to work
On Monday
so I stayed home

thankful that I had food
to eat
and to cook.

I made chicken noodle soup
and ate it
and ate it
and drank hot tea

Tuesday was my birthday
but I was still sick
and stayed home again

barely able to keep up with the time of day
but very able
to keep up with
WHO called to wish me
A HAPPY Birthday

Mr. Duvall called first
in fact
he called 5 times that day to check on me
when he found out I was sick

but he said HB first
and besides friends
and Mr. Jones
and my son
there were no other men
calling to wish me a happy day

I would have to say
that was the very last straw
for some stragglers
of men
who seem to be just hanging on the fringes
of my life

they are gone
old news

and they know it

Birthdays are a big deal for me
and if you don't have the courtesy
to remember something
as simple as 123
we have a problem

Wednesday I was much better
and even though I should have
stayed home
I went to work
it was group picture day
couldn't have 5 year olds
with no adult in the picture
that would be sad

rested after work
and RJ and I went to a basketball game
and sure enough
there was Mr. Sullivan

I saw his back
from a distance
but i knew it was him

and I guess
he saw me later
because yesterday
(the day after the game)

here came a phone call from him
out of the clear blue

hmmmm .....

well today I am tired
and want to lay in bed...
but no
i have to go back to work later
and get caught up
from what I have missed.

I don't know what it was
but it kicked my ass
and I am now so glad
to feel better

even a ghastly ghost
from my past called to offer help
but I said no...

who I wanted here
didn't show up to take care of me
and by the time
people offered help,
I didn't need any by then

RJ did bring me some Theraflu

and left, and it is a good thing
because I remembered why
I don't take it
after I had drank it

it has this really strong
aphrodisiac effect on me

and when I am without Boyfriend
that sucks...

I am off to make more tea with honey

stay warm everyone
and stay away from the theraflu.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Inquring Minds Are Wanting to Know


A day at work
I never thought I would be so thankful

anyway, it has been a day
a day and a half,
if possible.

First of all,
it was the 90th day of school
which is the halfway mark
we read a book
Give Me Half
and we made cookies
and cut them in half and shared
with another class of 5/6 year olds
and we made mini chocolate and mini strawberry
cupcakes (and I do mean mini)
and cut them in half
and put one half of each with
a half of the other
to discuss how two halfs make a whole

We took all numbers from 1-10
and halved them, if they would
We ate our concoctions
and half a pb&j sandwich
the other class made for us
on half a plate
with our napkins folded in half...

and then the day was over... whew...
see, it was a day
and a

anyway then...
then the fun began
Mr. Duvall called and tempted me
with a tease of possibly
an evening at my house
if I haven't found a beau

woo hoo... no beau yet
just a few prospects on the horizon
so yeah, I am available...
I have been grinning ever since I got that call

He is driving over 140 miles
to see me
even though we usually meet in the middle

He really has been so good to me
he said he would take me to breakfast
and I said I would gladly cook
but no, he said we could go out
but my cooking is better, I said
Yes, he said, it is
but it isn't as easy as going somewhere
so we agreed to pick a breakfast place that
was hopefully... better than where we have been going...

And then on Saturday
I am off to Salado
for a wonderful evening of
Scrabble, a warm fire
and good company
with a prospective beau

and the other one, a new one,
is in Terlingua for a week,
so I will meet him next week, when he returns

but he did call and leave me a very
bright and sweet voicemail today
just saying hello and wishing me
a good day at work...

now that,
that is what I like...
thoughtfulness when I least expect it...

Oh and Mr. Jones,
well he is bring me firewood
he cut for me
that will fit in my chiminea
and homemade soap
because he knows I love it
and a purple pen,
to keep score on..

Scrabble remember?
I like scrabble, it is a favorite game
in my family
and I like a man
who is good with words

so we will see how he fairs
and if I drink anything
we will see how I fair as well...

should that be fare or fair? probably fare

oh well, have to go
the muse and I are off to the Big V
haven't had a drink in nearly two weeks...
think I can have a few tonight...

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Cabin Fever

Stuck in an ICE storm
for 3 days
and possibly 4

I have cooked
sat around
watched TV
listened to music
talked on the phone
surfed the internet
talked online

and my back hurts
and I want to exercise outside
and I want to walk
and I want to spend some time
with another person
rather than another day
by myself
in this apartment
in this cold weather
in this life

I am definitely
a people person
and I do like
to have interaction with others
and often.

So, I am ready for the ice
to thaw
and not just the ice
on the trees, streets,
and my car

but the ice that has built up
around my heart

I have had a wall
a wall of ice
that I haven't let
anyone past

I have come close to a few men
thinking I would let them in
but really I wasn't
I was letting them near me physically
but not emotionally

funny I wanted to let them near me
but due to trust issues
and fear of being hurt
worse than I have been before
I have had a wall of ice
built up for over 3 years
and I need to let it melt
and float away

so that when a good man
does come along
I won't question his motives
or actions
and he will easily prove
his trustworthiness
and show he can let me
into his heart as well.

Monday, January 15, 2007

Smarter Than Your Average Bear

You will be happy to know


should I say

I am happy to share

That the SADNESS
has passed
Thank goodness

I have gained weight
since the dr. put me on

which was not for bc
but would and has helped with that

The muse says
that me being on the pill
is like a
estrogen molatov cocktail

and she is right
so over the weekend
I have decided to quit taking it.

I can use my fav form of bc
and the side effects of them
are worse than the reason
I was taking them...

now on to the funny part of this post

I have been talking to
Mr. Jones quite a bit
and we are planning on meeting
next weekend

so I asked him what
we should think about wearing

my thoughts being
that it is suppose to be cold
and we may just sit around and visit
so I want to be comfy
and I think he will wear boots and jeans
and right now I don't want to
wear my jeans
because they are pretty tight
given these stinkin' pills

and he responds in an email
that if I wear pearls
he will wear a tie

so I made some smart remark
about not having any pearls
but if he wore
I would wear pearls

and he wrote back
and said

"Hmmm I wonder
how that would look"
and attached
a picture of
Yogi Bear...

I laughed so hard

Yeah, I am looking forward
to meeting him...

but that is a week away...

yes, he is smarter than
the average bear...

Saturday, January 13, 2007

Cloudy, Rainy, and I am Sad for no Particular Reason

I have walked every day
At least every day I should
(not Wed or Thurs, explain later)

I have made lists
and checked everything off
as I got it done

Talked the renters
or EX renters
into returning
to get their trash

Called all utility companies
No interruption in service
in the house I rent out to others

Placed ad in the local paper
of the town the house is in
and it will be rented soon

The water company
inadvertently confided
that renters owed them money

Newspaper people
said there were no rentals in town
so house should rent easily

At least this time
their nosiness
is working to my advantage

My observation went well
I am done with those for the year
*sigh of relief

I am doing Spring Cleaning
at work
and at home
so have been busy
and yet
don't feel like I have done much

Have 3 new guys I am talking to
via online dating

One lives far away
Like too far
ok, not TOO far
like Walker
but at least 300 miles
(no I have added up the miles)
Think I'll call him

as in Indiana Jones
he is an archaeologist
in his spare time

One is here in town
and is a TX Longhorn fan
so his name is
MR. Longhorn

which is going to make me think
of the rooster in the comics
who was Foghorn Leghorn
or something like that
but oh well
we are having lunch tomorrow
I think

and then
there is another one
too soon to assign a name

I am not in too big of a hurry
just taking my time
and seeing what happens
It is a diversion of sorts
and with
a wet, chilly
weekend in front of me
I could use a diversion

I laid in bed reading most of the morning
It was nice

I am going to clean house now
wash dishes
wash sheets
clean bathroom
clean my room
work on downstairs
that I can't seem to get

I have too much shit
and my mother just gave me more
for Christmas

I bought groceries last night
to make
Chicken soup
Grilled Ham and Cheese Sandwiches

so I am going to cook tomorrow evening

for the week.
It worked out well this week,
for a bit,
then I ate out
which I have to stop doing

that is where I am

The sadness?

I have no idea
It is just there

I am sure it will pass soon
Probably part of this change
I am forcing myself through

Learning to be alone
and not wish I had someone

It's harder than it looks
and I thought it looked hard enough

Have a great day
If you are north of Mexico
and in North America
Stay safe and warm
and don't drive if it icy...

Sunday, January 07, 2007

A Day to Smile

this week sucked...

many things that were

I know many people have
much bigger problems than I do
but hey, problems are still
problems and

My first day back at work
last Wednesday
I see on the board
that in a week
I will be the first
of the ones in my building
to be "observed"
by my supervisor

Man, that sucks
now I have to pony up
and get my shit in order
much sooner than I planned
after the holidays
I haven't even taken my
little xmas tree down yet
and that was suppose to be done
before we left for the holidays

Then on Thursday
I went to the Big V
with the Muse
and we had a great time
and I drove home
a bit tipsy afterwards
I didn't get into bed
until 11 and the alarm
was set for at 5:30
Then at 2:30 AM
yes AM
I was rudely awakened
by a man and a woman
having a knock down dragout
right outside my window

It was worse than a cat fight
it went on until my alarm went off
It would wane and then
it would get worse
and wake me up again
I was tipsy
and didn't want to get up
and get into it with them,
so I tried to ignore it
so Friday
I went to work with little sleep

Man, That sucks
because I knew that
Friday night I would
just crash and not get out
at all.....
not good for me
I need to
even if just to the bookstore

Friday after work
I checked my cell phone
for any calls
at the beginning of Dec
I changed cell phone companies
but kept the old phone
and service so my son
who is on it can have his phone
til other arrangements are made
* he doesn't want to change providers
Long story short
I checked my old phone too
I had voicemail

Time warp to a small town 500 miles away
I own a house there
that I rent out
my ex renter
who is a good friend
and now lives next door to my house
Ummmm did you know your current renters
are moving out? just thought you might
needed to know that.... don't mean to be nosey

UGH!!!! Thank you
NO, I didn't know
and NO, they didn't give notice
and NO, I cannot afford to not have renters in it.
then she goes over and checks it
and they have left a bunch of stuff there
and not cleaned it

Man, That Sucks
I am speechless
It just Sucks
because I am 500 miles away
and pretty much at the mercy of others

Then my weekend got much BETTER
Saturday Morning
Mr. Duvall called
and said
would you like to meet me
at our usual place and spend the night?

WOO HOO!!! I would LOVE TO!!!
So I packed a dinner picnic
of ham, cheese, crackers and dip
and a breakfast extravaganza
of BLT Sandwiches and fried potatoes
and boy was he surprised
and liked my cooking
and ate everything I took.
He was really funny
He was so excited about the picnic fun

So today,
today despite the things that SUCK

I am smiling

We had a great time
and for a little while
all that other stuff went away
and I had some fun.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

List for Today

I know they will spill over until tomorrow
but I wanted to give myself a choice
of things that I don't want to do
but have to

1. Take the decorations off the tree
2. Get the Xmas tree out of the house
and clean up the mess
3. Do 4 loads of laundry
4. Wash and bleach the covers
of the cushions I brought from my mom's house
5. Go to the gym
6. Fix lunch for tomorrow so I don't have to do it in the morning

considering today is the first day back to work
I know I will be exhausted this evening
so these are very lofty goals,
I might get 1, 5 and 6 done
or 3, 5 and 6

we will see

Tuesday, January 02, 2007


First of all
Happy New Year
to everyone
I am glad you are part of my world
and I enjoy being a part of yours
whether I am physically
or simply by your anonymous reading
of my world.
Now on to the


I know they may look like resolutions,
but they are just lofty goals
that I hope to acheive


my wish list of things I wanted
a year ago
all came to pass


the New Year's Resolutions
I wrote last year

fell to the wayside
I must say
I do get more done
when I make a list

and I did lose some weight
but it wasn't 50 lbs

I did make a change in
my exercise habits

and I did improve my psyche'
and view of self

I know I am a great catch for the right man

but you know what, everyone else is too....

change that to WO man if you are Walker
who will make a crack about that comment.

I started walking 4 miles a day in July
and after school started and the time changed
I fell away from it some

so my first GOAL
is to get in shape by implementing
the 4 mile walk at least 5 times a week

my second GOAL
is to tone and strengthen my body
by working out at the gym at least 3 times a week
including Yoga classes which I have missed

Third GOAL? is three too many?
well I am in trouble, I have more than 3

Devise and live meagerly within a budget
and pay off all my debt in a year. (ok 2 years)

Fourth GOAL
Cook good meals
package them up and eat them
during the week
or freeze them and save for another time

*I eat out way too much
and it is hard to cook for one person
and this goal helps with the budget goal
and the get in shape goal

Those are them...

the listing each day of what to do
will help and I will try to do that
starting with today