Cabin Fever

Stuck in an ICE storm
for 3 days
and possibly 4

I have cooked
cleaned
sat around
watched TV
listened to music
talked on the phone
surfed the internet
talked online

and my back hurts
and I want to exercise outside
and I want to walk
and I want to spend some time
with another person
rather than another day
by myself
in this apartment
in this cold weather
in this life

I am definitely
a people person
and I do like
to have interaction with others
and often.

So, I am ready for the ice
to thaw
and not just the ice
on the trees, streets,
and my car

but the ice that has built up
around my heart

I have had a wall
a wall of ice
that I haven't let
anyone past

I have come close to a few men
thinking I would let them in
but really I wasn't
I was letting them near me physically
but not emotionally

funny I wanted to let them near me
emotionally
but due to trust issues
and fear of being hurt
worse than I have been before
I have had a wall of ice
built up for over 3 years
and I need to let it melt
and float away

so that when a good man
does come along
I won't question his motives
or actions
and he will easily prove
his trustworthiness
and show he can let me
into his heart as well.