Saturday, February 25, 2006

Over Half a Dozen Jello Shots and half a bottle of Bacardi Limon, HERE I AM

Today was a great day. I woke up alone (bummer, I love a sleeping man in my bed, but it has been so long, I don't remember what that is like) and it was a rainy day (bummer what are rainy days better for than spending a day in bed making love? ) and I was in the mood to clean house... Well hey... whatever you can talk your psyche into believing. Then I did actually, now don't faint, get up and unpack the box in the hall of bathroom stuff, that has to go in the hall closet since my bathroom has virtually no storage, a box in my bedroom, and picked up all the trash, put the fishing net, lantern and cook stove in my closet and fixed all the drawers on my lingerie chest (don't get excited boys, it only has junk in it, no lingerie) straightened, it is a nasty job, but someone had to do it. Then, I read Walker's blog, tried to think of something profound to tell him, without any luck and then looked to see if Lisa responded... I still love her post about the body parts exchange, that is exactly how I feel. Who the hell took my body? I want it back...
Then I went looking for mittens... yes, fucking mittens... I am teaching one of my all time favs... The Three Little Kittens, and I am going to knock the socks off, or mittens off of the infamous "bitches across the hall" but I need about 100 cut out mittens for my students to use as the sequence of the story, and I had absofuckinlutely no luck in finding any die cut mittens, or any others. I have one pattern, but have no desire to cut 100 of them out. After that, I attended a birthday party of a newly 6 year old student. His family is hispanic and arabic. The clown spoke spanish, and have I told you that I hate clowns? It was freezing cold, and it was an outside party. The culture of the family is such that you must stay and eat or they are offended. The food was great, but the weather and a spanish speaking clown were enough to drive me nuts. I left right after eating.

Oh the fun is just beginning, then I joined RJ at a Chili Party... that would be white man's chili, you know with meat and sometimes beans... I took heart shaped corn bread and Hot peppers, and of course my Bacardi Limon and Diet Coke with Lime. I think I drank 3 of my cokes out of the six pack, but I didn't want to dig through the cooler to find them all when I left. I left by 10 btw... the men I met there were either married or nonchalant about talking to me...

So here I am, after having more than a half a dozen jello shots (of unknown origin) and half a bottle of rum. I was home by 10 or so. I was bummed there were no men of interest to me there, except the one, who went on a fantastic vacation last summer and was telling me all about it, always saying "we" did this, "we" did that, and I asked who "we" was and he said, you guessed it, his...drum roll please "wife".... ok, now you can stop laughing...

well with no bootie calls to make, here I am, drunk as a skunk and yet, so wishing there was a man in my bed upstairs, and yet.... then again, no so upset there isn't one...

I have felt better in the last week about being alone... I am no longer scared of it, or worried about it. That should be a good sign right?

I am afraid it isn't.

However, I have had such a good outlook on life of late, that even if it isn't, I don't care... I am having fun all by myself, but still a good "shag" is very inviting and I would not turn it away.

Good night all, tonight I am a happy drunk and Bob is upstairs waiting so I must go. Good night and Good luck. (Edward Morrowish wasn't it?)
Your Observation Skills Get A C-

You tend to notice the big things in life...
But the details aren't exactly your forte

I know some people who would disagree. I do notice the little things. Nice little things others do for me, especially. Good Service in a restaurant, attention to details (I hate that they don't put beverage napkins down for cocktails most places anymore).

Then again, I don't pay attention to all the nasty detailed paperwork I should do at school, I am organizationally challenged in that area.

However, I do notice the moon, the sun, the sound of the rain outside my window this morning... good music while I clean house, a clean house (which I don't have since I moved and haven't had the gumption to put everything away... my new home is too small for all my "stuff") I also tend to look at the big picture and want others to attend to the details...

hmmmm maybe it was right on the money...

No, who? me? I wouldn't be wishy

Have a great weekend everyone, I finally feel human today and have a 5 year old's birthday party to attend and a chili party tonight... and am told the crowd, of whom I know two people, will be diverse and interesting... hmmm a great way to meet someone new... we will see...

Saturday, February 18, 2006

Freakily True

How You Life Your Life

You are honest and direct. You tell it like it is.
You're laid back and chill, but sometimes you care too much about what others think.
You tend to have one best friend you hang with, as opposed to many aquaintences.
Some of your past dreams have disappointed you, but you don't let it get you down.

Your Hidden Talent

You have the natural talent of rocking the boat, thwarting the system.
And while this may not seem big, it can be.
It's people like you who serve as the catalysts to major cultural changes.
You're just a bit behind the scenes, so no one really notices.

How Weird Am I?

You Are 40% Weird

Normal enough to know that you're weird...
But too damn weird to do anything about it!

Your Personality Profile

You are dependable, popular, and observant.
Deep and thoughtful, you are prone to moodiness.
In fact, your emotions tend to influence everything you do.

You are unique, creative, and expressive.
You don't mind waving your freak flag every once and a while.
And lucky for you, most people find your weird ways charming!

Not Giving Up... There is Hope Yet

A great friend of mine informed me that I should not give up or give in or lower my expectations of what I want in a relationship. I reminded him that perhaps what I wanted was what is that word.... um...well let's just say that I might have unrealistic expectations. No, I have found, that I don't have unrealistic expectations. There are men out there like the one I want... I found an example in a blog I read on and off depending on how nude he is... yes, Steve's Nude Memphis Blog is what I am discussing and if you read his post on what he did for his wife on Valentines Day, it is one aspect I seek when looking for the man of my life.
So, if you aren't one of those men, who would do this, even if for the reason of "you just want to get laid", then you aren't the man for me. Guys, women would love to have you ravish their bodies if you would PLAY be FORE like Steve did.

Hence, my stance, to keep my dream alive... and hope that the man I want to have in my life will come around sooner than later... and in the mean time, all the others are here for a reason, so I will learn what I can from each one, friendship, encounter, etc. until it is time.

Just for my Gentlemen Friends

Your Sexy Brazilian Name is:
Livia Fernandes

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Internet Dating vs Valentine's Day

Trapped in Colorado has said that February is the worst month to date. Hmmm, on my dating site, the men didn't get that memo. I had a "can you hear the crickets" weekend and then on VD eve I had 3 guys write and then ON VD Day, 2 more...

so what does that say about the men? I tended to think the women would have been looking for a date for the day of love, but I didn't write to anyone. Hey, I have been sick, I wanted soup and a back rub, not a hot date...

Were they lookers? well the jury is still out on two of them, the rest were smokers or had something that threw huge red warning malitov cocktails at me... so after I see where these two are headed I will let you know.

Oh and guys, never use a form letter when you write an email on a personals site. Tacky Tacky Tacky

I HATE Being Sick

Here we are, going on a week, and I still feel like shit. I haven't taken a single day off and now I am wishing I had. HAD? yes had... tomorrow is early release, an early day... no need to take an easy one off...

I did let another teacher do my STARS class today. An after school class of enrichment activities for 2nd and 3rd graders. Good Lord, I tried to have them do a KWL chart last week and they didn't have a clue... I know you are saying the same thing. It is a thinking map. A piece of paper folded into 3 columns. In the first one (K) you write what you know about the subject matter, the second, (W) what you want to know and after the unit of study you write in the third one (L) what you learned.
Our district is big on thinking maps, mapping out your thoughts to enhance learning... and this is a tried and true and the 18 brightest of the two grade levels have never seen them before.... disgusting.
So, to have two extra hours this afternoon (40 bucks less) is a mixed blessing, I came home and napped a bit on the sofa. Watched the Eagles live on TV (Tivo is my best friend) and am now about to re plan my entire classroom setup and schedule to start fresh next week.

I get little bursts of energy and then it is gone with the wind and I just want to nap, so there is no telling how long this one will last. I have already cried today because I am so tired of being sick and not having the energy to walk or hike or leave the house to go to the bank.

I need a chocolate shake from Cheesy Janes... that would make me feel (yes RJ, I hope you are reading this) .

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Fortune Cookie Too

Today it was:

Now is the time to try something new... in bed.

Ok, now where is the man... or is it that I am suppose to try something new without the man...c'mon Joe, Say it isn't so...

(yes, I eat Oriental food often)

Monday, February 13, 2006

Fortune Cookies

When at the end of a Fortune Cookie, add "in bed" and today mine reads

Today is a good day for being with a companion IN BED

Ok, so if I rub my lamp with that companion appear via Genie or should I consider BOB my new companion?

Oh the Power...

Today, while out in the hall with a few students, taking down our bulletin board items and putting up our Valentine Hearts they decorated with their families, one of my lovely little ladies said "Oh that is "Suzy's", oh wait, no it's not, What Planet am I on? " .... I tried not to laugh out loud... since that is the saying I use the most with them when they aren't where or doing where/what they should.

Then a parent came by. She was concerned about her son getting sick over a week ago. He came to school not feeling his best. Mom had said that if he got worse, call her and she would come get him. He acted normal all morning, never said a word. While at lunch he was spotted by Miss Suzy. She saw that he wasn't eating (not like him) and she felt of him and he was warm. She sent him to the nurse. Mom came, got him, took him home. She asked him later why he didn't tell his teacher he was not feeling good.

"She said to only ask to go to the nurse if you have a broken bone or if you are bleeding to death... mom, what does bleeding to death mean?"


How do they remember all that? yes, I said that, because if I didn't I would be sending them for every little pinkish mark on them, when they say they are "bleeding". However, I do try to notice if they are not acting like themselves....

Power, I have such power... now to decide if I will use it for GOOD or EVIL..... hmmmmmm

No wonder I like teaching Kindergarten.

No One Plans on Growing Up and Growing Old Alone

Just like the commercial of the kids they say don't plan on being drug dealers or inmates.

We don't enter relationships thinking ... Ok, I am going to sabotage this relationship until he/she cannot stand it any longer and they blow up into a kazillion pieces of holy crap thrown my way.

We just lose ourselves and those aliens that overcame us as teenagers come back...

My honest opinion is that I could love anyone... anyone who could... 1. 2. 3..... lol... I once thought I could love anyone, til I found out I couldn't love my best friend... regardless of why... since then, I am not sure I can love anyone.

I have recently read a few late posts to two internet daters who met, and for whatever reasons it didn't work out.

That feeling of "oh this is going to be great" , and your heart thumping and your eyes lighting up works until real life and real issues get in the way... and hate to tell you people, but the older I get, I know I get pickier, because I am getting set in my ways...

That is not goood, not good at all... I was picky to begin with... of course, judging from my choices you might ask what I was picky about.

As Valentine's Day is UPON US,
HE WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED pops into my thoughts
EXCEPT the thought of him and missing him is followed by...


Of course, that is it, we all want someone to make us feel so extra special... and loved... even my little babies at school.

One of which has a father deploying to Afghanistan soon. He is stationed in New York and was here this weekend. He brought little Isaiah to school.
Isaiah was in tears and reaching for his daddy when he left and I picked him up and held him, going on with morning duties until he was ready to get on with his day. It made me want to cry. Especially since I am still feeling very much under the weather.

Yes, even though we are not really supposed to touch the children, I picked him up and carried him around, bad back and all, for about 10 minutes. Sometimes I wish someone would do that for me too... we all do...

So reach out and hug someone, it may be the first time someone has touched them all day or all week, or all month... that is better than any box of chocolate or bouquet of flowers, ok, maybe not the flowers (kidding)

Sunday, February 12, 2006

The Instant Gratification Life isn't for me

Dear Anonymous,

What online dating site would I recommend? None of the above. For several reasons, but one in particular.

Example: Today, someone messaged me, via online messenger, to say hello, from my online dating site. He lived over 40 miles away. He had very little info on his profile, including his marital status. His first question was "So do you like adventure?". I instantly.... blocked any further messages from him. Was I fair? perhaps not... Was I making assumptions? of course... Was he a nice guy? I will never know...

What I know is that in cyberspace, when you walk away from someone, the chances you will run into them again are minute...

In real life, when you meet someone, and for whatever reason, they rub you the wrong way, you are sometimes given another chance to see their true colors, and sometimes, even after knowing of them, you get the opportunity to know them better and they surprise you.

The only good experience I have had dating online is RJ. I met him online, not on the site I am on now. He and I went out on several dates, and I gave him several chances, even though some stuff related to getting to know him did not go well for me. Unfortunately, there are no "sparks" or physical chemistry for me towards him. Fortunately, he and I have remained great friends and I am surprised still, nearly every time I see him, by something he says or does. His blog states that when thinking of him remember Still Waters Run Deep, and it is true.

For whatever reason, he has chosen to stay a part of my life and I am thankful for him. Most of the people I have met online have not given me that chance and obviously vice-versa. Perhaps, if I owned a store and they were frequent customers, or we ran into each other at the deli, or the park, etc. life would be different... unfortunately, in this world of

I want it and I want it now, we aren't willing to wait for the best things in life, which sometimes take awhile for us to recognize.

My suggestion would be to hang out at the park, the dry cleaners, the coffee shop, the gym, and not be searching, but just watching and waiting for the right opportunity and an interesting person to approach.

The internet is a fabulous way in which to see the world, but it is also a lonely venue when you can't take others with you.

Good luck in your search... I hope it goes better than mine... when it comes to meeting that special someone. As for my other searches, they are going quite well, I am finding my self and my place in my vocation, so I guess I shouldn't be expecting it all,

but I do.

Comfort Craving

Cravings of Comfort food have over come me... I am gone to pick up two chili cheese dogs from Der Dog (Der Wienerschnitzel) and some fresh hot fries....

after my craving (for chili dogs) is taken care of, I am off to the book store, the teacher store (Lakeshore Learning), Office Depot (for organizational assistance) and the dollar store for Valentine Day goodies for my students.

Must be feeling better, the couch is in the sun and it is nap time and I just want to get out and do something, so I will take care of my errands and my craving for chili dogs... (no they aren't the best in the world, but they have been comfort food since I was a child, so.... might as well take care of one craving and try to forget the other one)

Under the Weather Can Be Scary

The cold front moved in and I finally gave in and caught the bug from one of my many students who have been ill in the last few weeks. It started off as an upset stomach that woke me up at 4 am on Tuesday or Wednesday. It inflated to tiredness, achy joints, and a desire to nap all day (yeah, try that with 22 five year olds around). It ended with the taking of antibiotics courtesy of JD and my friend RJ nursing me back to health on Friday night and Saturday. There is nothing like chicken noodle soup, Gatorade, and crackers to get me back on the road to recovery.
It is scary to be in a city where you have no family and get sick. It is so comforting to know that I have two close friends who will help me any way they can and vice versa.
That vision of dying and having the rats gnawing on me will go away in peace when I know there are others who will check on me daily and sometimes 3 times a day when they haven't heard from me.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Tuesday's Anecdote

Today, while my supervisor was observing my teaching abilities, I was having students glue die cut letter "D" and "d" to a lunch sack (they will fill them with items that begin with D for sharing on Friday). As I was reviewing how to use 4 drops of glue and not any more, I found myself forgetting the term I use for students who use too much glue... and I paused after I said "you don't want to be..." pause... then my smallest girl who looks and acts like a 60's love child says in her small squeaky voice "globbey gluer" ....

I laughed and said "Exactly, don't be a Globby Gluer" ... it made my day... little things like that make it so much fun to go to work every day.

(they really do listen to everything you say to them)

Next Week's Letter of the Week is L...

Come on, think of all those L words and post them here...

Love is a given, and it will be V day next week... I still haven't gotten my cards or goodies for my kids... guess I better do that...

Lovely, lonely, little, light, litter, long, lines, life, late, latte (my personal fav), life, line, link, lion, lonely, like, likely, lilies, lick, luck, lucky...

ok, now I am distracted, so post them here... double points for 3 letter words.

Sunday, February 05, 2006

Laundry, DONE

Woo Hoo, now I get to go to the SuperBowl Party at RJ's...

Laundry washing at the laundromat... I dread it everytime, and yet, everytime I feel better after having done it... it's the darnedest thing...

Now... who to cheer for... Seattle or Pittsburgh? hmmmm SeaHawks or Steelers... hmm... too bad Miami isn't playing... I am sure I will be on the side of the underdog, that is my favorite place...

Turn Me On

After a day spent with RJ... with the intention of keeping him from sitting home and moping around... I think he was the one who kept me from sitting at home and moping around... which is exactly what I have done so far today... two nights of restless, cold sleep... and a few issues with my son yesterday certainly have made it easier to sit on the couch (in the sun) and vegging out... rather than going to the laundromat or washing dishes or cleaning the bathroom or making centers for school.

Finally got up after a few phone calls from RJ and Amused Muse (they kept waking me up from my nap in the sun) and preparing for the trip to do my clothes washing. Turned on my mp3's I have on the computer...

Ever have a song that just cuts you to the quick? Norah Jones' Turn Me On did it today... yeah I am waiting, just sitting here and waiting for him to come in and turn me on...

Him? oh no, I don't know who "him" is, but sometimes, he could be just about anybody and other days, nobody could be him.

Then again, maybe I am just not ready... don't know if I will be ready in this life, but if I am suppose to be learning and preparing and waiting... I am doing a shitload of that...

Like a flower waiting to bloom
Like a lightbulb in a dark room
I'm just sitting here
waiting for you
to come on home and turn me on

Like the desert
waiting for the rain
Like a school kid
waiting for the spring
I'm just sitting here
waiting for you
to come on home and turn me on

My poor heart
It's been so dark
since you've been gone

After all
you're the one who turns me off
you're the only one who can
turn me back on

My heart fire is waiting for a new tune
My glass is waiting for some fresh ice cubes
I am just sitting here waiting
For you to come home and turn me on.

Saturday, February 04, 2006

Getting all my ducks in a row... so to speak

My final "observation" by my principal is on Tuesday. I have had 3 total so far and they have gone very well. The third one did not go as well as I had hoped... and so I have to really work to make this one go better than good... and darn near perfect.

She is coming at 9, when we work on the letter of the week. On Tuesdays, (yes that is when she will be there) we usually make our letter of the week bags, which is gluing a die cut capital letter and a lowercase letter on a brown paper lunch sack and they take it home and fill it with items that start with that letter. I am thinking we will do the words that start with the letter of the week on Tuesday instead.
Then we have phonics for 15 minutes, and I finally gave in and purchased a cd and the book for the letter we are doing. Now if I could only afford the other 25 books to go with the cd... perhaps next year, or maybe I can get the remainder of the ones I will teach this year... regardless, I have one for this week. I will review the letters and sounds we have done so far and then I will show them the computer center where they can practice the letter sounds on

The letter of the week is D. The words we will generate are probably: duck, daisy, dragonfly, do, dig, dirt, dog, dandelion, daffodil, Dad, don't, dragon, doughnut, drink, dawdle, drank.... what others can you think of? let me know.

I am using a Duck and Daisy theme, so the centers will have duck or daisy patterns. I am still working on the literacy centers, so if you have an idea let me know. I am looking for rubber ducks to put numbers 1-10 on and the words 0ne through ten on another set and have them match them, in a extra small wading pool with a bit of water. Another will be a poem on sentence strips that has D words and they put them in order by looking at a printed copy of the poem. One will be daisies with numbers 10-20 and they will place that many dragonflies on each flower (tape flowers to floor).

For the technology tie in, which I haven't really done yet, in an observation, (We do more than any other kinder class, but it hasn't worked out that we are going to be working on the computers when the Chiefs show up) I am making a power point presentation with the d words above, having the letters fly in one at a time, and then a picture to go with them...d-o-g (dog picture). Then it will be one of the centers.

The last fifteen minutes she will be there, the students will be in literacy centers. I have 22 kids and like to not have more than 2 or 3 at a center.... so yeah I need some more centers that "reinforce skills" and that is the component she will be looking at the hardest I think. Centers are the one thing I haven't done before this year and I haven't found my niche for them in my classroom... they are awkward and time consuming beyond belief. I need to find a better way to do them, but it isn't going to happen before Tuesday... feel free to consult... I am up for advice, ideas, etc... (really in all areas, but this one in particular)

While the students are in centers, I will be doing guided reading with a small group... I like this because it is one of my strengths... nearly half my class is just about to read with 3 students that are reading and most of the others will be ready or will be reading by the end of the year. I have one or two that are not ready, will not be ready for First Grade. But hey, I was just suppose to have them ready to start reading by the end of the year... so we are strong in that department... anyway..

So far, it is looking pretty good, which is amazingly calming... so now I can go to breakfast with RJ... yeah, he is doing ok, but I told him I would hang out this weekend, my pleasure of course, and later we are going truck shopping for him and I get to be the mean wife.... I know it's a stretch, but he needs them to come down on the price... lol

oh... the price of being a oh did I mention we are going to Panchitos for breakfast? .... it pays to be a good friend... it is a great restaurant, esp. the migas (add sausage).

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Diet Coke... Addiction or is it all in my Head?

While at the dentist with my tooth emergency, I learned something I knew I was going to hear sometime, but was ignoring.

She said the worst thing I could be drinking was soda.

I love Diet Coke, it was, yes was, my only vice (or at least the only major one).

I have been trying my best to not drink them... of course Starbucks is making good money off of me each morning. I am scared of what my day will be like without my caffeine fix.

Honestly I thought I would truly be in withdrawals, acting like a bitch (moreso than usual) and unbearable (moreso than usual)... but actually

I have been great without them, and feel better throughout the day...

Of course, now I have to find a way to not have a Venti Chai Tea Latte with whipped cream every morning too.. but figured it was a good first step in my step down off carbonated sodas.

Or I should buy a Starbucks Franchise and become the Queen Barrista (not sure how to spell that one, but you get the idea).

Anyway, I can now really sit down and drink one diet coke (a week) and enjoy it like it is the most decadent dessert....

Now if I can find a replacement for oatmeal for lunch and soup for dinner... I miss the munching of chewing a good meal, eating a Cheesy Jane Burger or a Der Dog.

Man, I wish they would just pull all my teeth and give me false ones... Then I guess I would still have trouble with burgers... oh well, put it in a blender... or go on a full time liquid diet... at this point that is a good idea.

I have to go to bed now... I am rambling...

More Strangeness

Last Sunday I went to brunch with another online date. The Hedonist... now don't get the wrong idea just yet. The offer has been made on his part, and as much as I would like to, I have not taken him up on it as yet.

Why? Why? Why?

He has a lifestyle that is difficult for me to pinpoint how it works. It is in the realm of Adult Entertainment, and it has been very good to him monetarily. There have obviously been hundreds of women, that were from Sporting participants to wives. It is a big pill to swallow and I am not sure I care to.

Men wonder why we don't just have sex if we want to, when they make the move. I wonder the same thing. For me, I tie emotions to it, even when I think I can do it for sport, and I know it isn't good for my well-being. I end up with my feelings hurt and am offended by the "don't take it personally" comment that has been made to me.

There are a few other prospects, but as Trapped In Colorado says, Dating in February sucks...

I will see the Hedonist again, as he has said we can still hang out, but let him know if I change my mind. I will never change my mind about being involved in a Swingers situation... it doesn't appeal to me at all...

Rolling around for two days straight, in a king size bed and eating and drinking and taking each other in.. .that appeals to me, but with other people, don't want to trade off etx...

I know it is a bit spotty, I can't really tell the whole tale, but what I have said is enough...

I have had an epiphany.... I meet men thinking they are the "one" for me, based on preliminary prospects, and then I get to know them. I may like them when I get to know them, but they are never what I had in my head.

What happened to meeting men accidentally by association or at a usual stop in your daily life and they aren't even considered someone you would be interested in, and then you get to know them and they show themselves to you and you know they are the "one" ? I miss that concept.... but in the age of instant gratification....

oh well....