Monday, February 13, 2006

No One Plans on Growing Up and Growing Old Alone

Just like the commercial of the kids they say don't plan on being drug dealers or inmates.

We don't enter relationships thinking ... Ok, I am going to sabotage this relationship until he/she cannot stand it any longer and they blow up into a kazillion pieces of holy crap thrown my way.

We just lose ourselves and those aliens that overcame us as teenagers come back...

My honest opinion is that I could love anyone... anyone who could... 1. 2. 3..... lol... I once thought I could love anyone, til I found out I couldn't love my best friend... regardless of why... since then, I am not sure I can love anyone.

I have recently read a few late posts to two internet daters who met, and for whatever reasons it didn't work out.

That feeling of "oh this is going to be great" , and your heart thumping and your eyes lighting up works until real life and real issues get in the way... and hate to tell you people, but the older I get, I know I get pickier, because I am getting set in my ways...

That is not goood, not good at all... I was picky to begin with... of course, judging from my choices you might ask what I was picky about.

As Valentine's Day is UPON US,
HE WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED pops into my thoughts
EXCEPT the thought of him and missing him is followed by...


"IT ISN'T HIM YOU MISS, SILLY, IT IS THE FEELINGS YOU HAD, TOWARD HIM, FOR THE ADVENTURE AND THE INTRIGUE AND THE WAY HE MADE YOU FEEL "

Of course, that is it, we all want someone to make us feel so extra special... and loved... even my little babies at school.

One of which has a father deploying to Afghanistan soon. He is stationed in New York and was here this weekend. He brought little Isaiah to school.
Isaiah was in tears and reaching for his daddy when he left and I picked him up and held him, going on with morning duties until he was ready to get on with his day. It made me want to cry. Especially since I am still feeling very much under the weather.

Yes, even though we are not really supposed to touch the children, I picked him up and carried him around, bad back and all, for about 10 minutes. Sometimes I wish someone would do that for me too... we all do...

So reach out and hug someone, it may be the first time someone has touched them all day or all week, or all month... that is better than any box of chocolate or bouquet of flowers, ok, maybe not the flowers (kidding)

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

ok this has nothing to do with your post. some time ago you borke your front tooth, I just did that a minute ago. no pain but there's not enough of the root to hold it in. unfortuantely I have an appointment at 10am tomorrow. I'm going to see the dentist at 7:30.

What did they do to you? And were you able to get a fake tooth put in in 2 hrs?

Bennu said...

The tooth I broke was one that had already been capped. I chipped my front teeth as a child and have always had crowns on them.
They did a root canal (mine had to be redone, had already had one, but they needed to drill into it, and couldn't). They did the root canal so they could insert a post into the root cavity that will stick out, have some substance adherred to it, so they can put a temporary crown on. They had a temporary one ready for me the first day I was there, to get me through the next day, til I could go back. I still have another temporary one on until the 20th. So yea, in 2 hours they might be able to do that. But the first day I was there from 2 til 7 pm and the next day for 3 more hours... I am the one where they say.. .oh this is the plan, simple and sweet and then they have to have a plan B and C, and it is never simple and not near sweet.
Good Luck, I will have you in my thoughts. I think the reason I am sick is an infection as the result of the work they did on me. I just haven't called to confirm.

Walker said...

I might be able to guess who those 2 are but its not all that you think.
They have been together for 3 years and together before.
Ads for being alone as you get older, it sucks.
I don't think I am a picky person other than my partner only be with me.
I have always believed that its more fun going through life sharing ones experiences with someone you love and care for.
Thanx for stopping by :)

Anonymous said...

I'm in the same situation. the tooth I broke was a cap but I think that I broke too much of the real tooth. So they may have to drill but I don't have the time. I think if they stick it in there, it will be ok for a few hours. I just need it to be ok for 90 minutes then I'm heading out of there.

Bennu said...

Walker,

I prefer the same. I am not good at sharing, nor would I want to be shared. Like I said, I don't know what happened, I just see two people in pain, and it is a reminder of my past as well.

Anonymous said...

ok, what are the odds of this surviving -
my ex BF 37 year old white guy is now dating a 23 year old black girl. He cheated on me 4 or 5 times, had emailed relationships with who knows how many. Just 2 weeksa go initiated contact and emali sex with me, but now tells me that he's completely happy with his 23 year old black girlfriend and that he'll be monogamous to her for ever....

you tell me...son of a bitch. said it was my fault that he was not faithful to me because I hurt him first. i.e. lied to him about something though I never cheated on him or went out with anyone

Bennu said...

Tooth Anonymous,

Yes they should be able to fix you up in less than 2 hours, but complications may make me a liar.

Boyfriend Problem Anonymous,

Dump him, Dump him, Dump him. NO chance of survival, trust has been breached to the point of no return, and he is giving bad rationalizations (you lying), for his unfaithfulness.

Anonymous said...

oh I dumped him a while back. He's an ex BF. But I'm pretty mad at the whole thing. asshole tells me that he's going to be completely monogamous to his 23 year old. HAH! What was the email sex with me about then? I didn't know about the GF.

You think his new love is going to last?!