Dear Anonymous,
What online dating site would I recommend? None of the above. For several reasons, but one in particular.
Example: Today, someone messaged me, via online messenger, to say hello, from my online dating site. He lived over 40 miles away. He had very little info on his profile, including his marital status. His first question was "So do you like adventure?". I instantly.... blocked any further messages from him. Was I fair? perhaps not... Was I making assumptions? of course... Was he a nice guy? I will never know...
What I know is that in cyberspace, when you walk away from someone, the chances you will run into them again are minute...
In real life, when you meet someone, and for whatever reason, they rub you the wrong way, you are sometimes given another chance to see their true colors, and sometimes, even after knowing of them, you get the opportunity to know them better and they surprise you.
The only good experience I have had dating online is RJ. I met him online, not on the site I am on now. He and I went out on several dates, and I gave him several chances, even though some stuff related to getting to know him did not go well for me. Unfortunately, there are no "sparks" or physical chemistry for me towards him. Fortunately, he and I have remained great friends and I am surprised still, nearly every time I see him, by something he says or does. His blog states that when thinking of him remember Still Waters Run Deep, and it is true.
For whatever reason, he has chosen to stay a part of my life and I am thankful for him. Most of the people I have met online have not given me that chance and obviously vice-versa. Perhaps, if I owned a store and they were frequent customers, or we ran into each other at the deli, or the park, etc. life would be different... unfortunately, in this world of
I want it and I want it now, we aren't willing to wait for the best things in life, which sometimes take awhile for us to recognize.
My suggestion would be to hang out at the park, the dry cleaners, the coffee shop, the gym, and not be searching, but just watching and waiting for the right opportunity and an interesting person to approach.
The internet is a fabulous way in which to see the world, but it is also a lonely venue when you can't take others with you.
Good luck in your search... I hope it goes better than mine... when it comes to meeting that special someone. As for my other searches, they are going quite well, I am finding my self and my place in my vocation, so I guess I shouldn't be expecting it all,
but I do.
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4 comments:
Thanks
I enjoy your writing.
Men don't like that I have 2 kids and am divorced (after 15 years of marriage). the fact that I have a great job and am financially secure - GREAT job with stock options thank god... - and my kids are GREAT. So oh well. I'm careful anyway. But getting lonely.
Hey, if they don't like it that you have kids, they aren't good for you.
Lonely happens to be the worst part of it for me. I think I can be ok until I realize how lonely I am. Then it is really difficult.
Be true to yourself and your kids, it will get better.
Excellent advice! Simon and I met on yahoo, but I truly think it worked because we lived 250 miles apart and really got to know each other well before me go together. And then there were still elements of luck involved.
Your words are spot on be true to yourself!
p.s. What did you get the little ones for Valentine's?
RJ,
I am more the roller coaster, you are more the old fashioned cars on a track. Nothing wrong with either ride, just different.
Jo,
I haven't done Valentines for the wee ones yet... been sick, felt bad after being out of the house for more than an hour. Will have to get it done today. All the good stuff will be gone... Thinking pencils and a balloon or bubbles maybe... just don't know, can't do candy.
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