It is Friday, right? This week has flown by. Of course, being sick didn't help. I lost that day completely. Yesterday, as I was moving all the furniture around, finding my cool desk stuff (I like interesting gadgets on my desk for kids to play with *carefully* while they are talking to me, or waiting to ask me something), I finally got to meet all my colleagues that I will be working with this year. They seem like a great bunch and I am excited about that. Sometimes you get someone who just rubs you the wrong way from the very beginning and you have to work closely with them, and that SUCKS> I don't think that is going to happen here, but we will see.
Apparently I have the classroom with all the *new stuff*. The teacher who was in my room previously was added to the mix two years ago. They had to create a classroom from scratch, so the district bought her all *new stuff*.
Funny, it has dirt, grime, crayon marks, etc. all over it and it definitely doesn't look new. I am carrying a load home each night to wash really well and clean up for my sweet darlings that I will be teaching. So hey guys, let's say *newer* stuff. The ironing board is, afterall, broken.
Today, I have to get my bulletin boards done (very time consuming), attend a luncheon with my bosses and team leaders, get all the stuff I have laminated put on the wall or in lockers, or on the floor, wherever they go. Clean my room extensively, it is a mess. Set up tables for students to use. I guess that is about it. I am hoping to be done by 5 since I think that is when they will lock up for the day. Then I have more, yes more, masters work to finish *see Alex, you aren't the only one*.
Tom0rr0w, first I am going to work out, then at home, I have plenty to do, I just don't know where I am going to start.
I had a really bad personal day yesterday. A monster raised his ugly head and I had to involve my mom, who, as we all know, is perfect and never made a mistake in her life. Funny, as I thought of how the monster wasn't what was upsetting me, what was upsetting me was the thought of hearing what my mother had to say about it and how I didn't want to hear her *speech*. It was worse than years of torture. Fortunately, when I explained to her how I knew what she was going to say, she didn't say it. She was very good about it actually. Now she will have to talk to me about it again today, so I am dreading what that one will be as well. I will just go about my business, I have plenty to think about as it is, and worry about it when it gets here.
I think my worrying keeps me up at night. I was sleeping like a baby for weeks for a while. This week I have been waking up at 3 and not being able to go back to sleep.
Diet Coke time, see you later.
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Faithful to Bennu
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- Bennu
- I will strive in '10 to be the best "me" I can be physically, emotionally and spiritually for myself and those around me
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4 comments:
i have to say that something similar happened to me a few weeks ago. I called a woman who is like a mother to me. I called her just to tell her about something that had happened to some mutual acquaintance of ours. But as I was telling her this, it was as if the whole damn thing was my fault when I wasn't involved. the only way I was involved was the person told me about it and I was shocked.
Midway thankfully she had to get off the phone. and she never called me back to lecture me about it.
i guess what i have come to realise is that some people are really judgemental and that some things seem to set them off.
like let's say you don't like red cars and I tell you that a mutual friend of ours painted her car red and you start yelling at me for getting involved and letting her paint the car red, and telling me that i should not have gotten into the red car.
so after i thought about it, i decided, life's too short. i don't need to deal with people who judge me for something i didn't even do. why shoot the messenger?!
but in my case, it's not a blood relative. and i have been slowly distancing myself from this person over the years
it's much harder with a mother, but i know what you mean though because as i said this person was like a mom to me.
at my age, you'd think for christ sake...
just get over it and remember that you're a strong individual and that you can get through this. but also set your limits. don't let people start talking to you as if you're a child when you're not.
hope that helps.
cherie
Cherie,
I am so glad someone else understands this concept. My mother is very judgemental. Sometimes I just shake my head and walk away. She has begun to see that I am not going to react, and she doesn't do it with me as much as she once did. Then again, in her old age, she says some things that are so *off color* that I get embarrassed if others are around. Things I think she knew better than to say outloud when she was younger, even if she thought them.
Alex,
Yes, damn those reports... those damn reports, report those damns... lol Thanks for the thoughts and the ecard, I haven't received any cards or ecards from friends or anyone else for so long, it was a delight.
RockJock,
Kindergarteners play act like they are at home. We have a kitchen, cell phone, baby cradle, kitchen table and chairs, rocking chair, and fake food, dolls, and other stuff to go with it. So, yeah, the ironing board is broken, so I have a wooden iron and nothing to press it on...lol
I find that with judgemental people, I let them get to me if I don't assert wher my boundaries are. For example, I simply have no interest in talking to this woman anymore and I think the friendship is dead becasue her first inclination is to criticize me. It's not really a relationship of parity when someone thinks that tehy know more than you becasue they are older.
In some instances, I know I'm over sensitive. I stopped speaking with a friend because I assumed she was mad at me and it turned out that she was so busy that she didn't have the time, and she was actually being thoughtful of me - knowing that I was going through a bad time in my life, she left me alone to let me decide when I would want to talk.
So it was my being over sensitive to potential criticism that made me cut off ties.
But in thiscase, I know that there's a limit. Being on the phone was just increidble. Every word I said generated some criticism that was bizarre and unfounded, and I can only attribute it to her own issues.
I have so much stress in my own life that the less stress I have the better, so if I can remove this one source, I might as well
But with a parent, that's tougher eh? I assume it must have been a personal family matter otherwise you would not have involved your mother. Oherwise, I'll tell you that talking to friends is a hell of a lot less judgemental than talking to a parent or a sibling!
I need to go over to both your friends' RockJock and Alextrex's blog. alextrex seems to have a lot of interesting things to say about life and RJ seems to just plain have fun!
Cherie
what the hell do you do when you wake up in the middle of the morning and can't get back to sleep? It drives me nuts. I just give up and lie in bed and not fight it but it used to be I'd force myself to think I got 4 hours left, I got 3 hours left...and then I'd be a zombie exhausted from no sleep. I did find though that if I made myself steamed milk, for some reason that helped me sleep better. Then I switched to chamomille tea? and that worked great. Usually it's something worrying me and just getting my thoughts on paper helps.
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