I Can't Get "My Brain Around It"

This is how a radio DJ described his thoughts on the devastation in New Orleans. It was so hard for him to fathom, the death, the destruction, etc.

I can relate to that. I don't really know anyone there like SG does. I haven't ever even been there, like d.k., who lived there and loved it. I don't anyone it directly affected, except my co-worker, who I just met a few weeks ago.

The hurricane isn't the only idea or happening that I can't get my brain around. I have a good friend, who was having a bad day yesterday and when I spoke to him, he couldn't really convey what was going on. I think his children were near and he didn't want to speak where they could hear.

Being the curious cat that I am, after we hung up, deciding we would talk today, I started pondering what could have been the matter.... a woman perhaps... or a child problem, or an ex problem, or a family member... oh yeah, his mom is in a long term facility and he doesn't seem to think she will get to the point she can go home again, but the rest of the family does. I cannot get my brain around the idea of losing your mom.... my mom is my strength some days... I like calling her and asking about the recipe to the biscuits or how many onions to put in a meat loaf or how to get a stain up or wax out of the carpet... I cannot fathom losing her, and yet I can't even relate to my friend, because it is something I don't want to think about in my own life.

I realized all of this as I drove home yesterday. I don't talk about these things, hurricanes, mom's with major health problems, and I am sure many other things that would devastate me. I am like the proverbial ostrich with her head in the sand. It is easier to ignore than to face, just as it was, for a great while, easier to ignore the theft of my things by my son, than to think of your child stealing from you, with no conscience of right and wrong.

I think it all comes from watching the destruction an alcoholic parent can create in a family. My father was so horrible to everyone but me. I had to ignore the bad behavior from a very young age so I could believe what I wanted to believe. Somehow, as an adult, I do the same thing, but not to the same extent. I hope, at least, it is not to a greater extent.