Walls

On my birthday, the previous, not to be named, MAN, who I am trying to "move on" or "get passed" sent me a text message. He was very sweetly and goofily singing Happy Birthday in his rendition of Mickey Mouseketeer music and Goofy's voice. Of course it was all text, and the effects had to be imagined... But I knew it was meant to be a light, innocent version of birthday wishes....

It came on one of the BAD days... The few really bad days that occur in life. He was there for another, the day I had my knee surgery and that was the next thought that came to mind. When I was almost in tears with the thought of going into surgery by myself, with no one there, he showed up. There were delays and we waited and waited and waited, and yet, he stayed, he didn't leave, he didn't even act like he needed to leave, even though I know he did. That, in itself, even though, even THEN, I knew we would never see our relationship to fruition, meant the world to me.

About a month before that, when we ran into each other and ended up sitting and talking for hours, I was astounded at what I learned. This man sat across from me and told me I was not the only one who had feelings, but he never, never, expressed what feelings he had.

His text message tells me that it may be just as hard for him to let it go as well. All I can say, is that if he did express true feelings, I would welcome him into my life without judgment and with open arms.

I can also say that if he isn't going to come into my life, for all the pain it causes to have him in the fringes and keeping me from truly moving on... I wish he would just get out.

I saw a post card on another blog today that fits me to a T. Here it is.