Friday, January 27, 2006
I WAS SAD I HAD NO SHOES...
UNTIL I MET A MAN WHO HAD NO FEET. Nearly everyday I seem to have something to be upset about in my life. However, I want you all to know that I do count my blessings as well. I realize I am much luckier than some and even though there are things lacking in my life, there are many that are great. Having a close relationship with my mom is one of them. Now for the sad news about my friend RJ. RJ's mom is dying... he is there, he has been upset for weeks, and I didn't realize just how bad it was until a few days ago. Her illness has lingered since before I met him last year. I feel bad being upset about a tooth when I think about what it would be like to lose my mother. I lost my dad when I was 22, so I do know the loss of a parent, but none could be greater in my mind than your mother. So a few moments of silence to show how much I care for this great friend and his loss. I wish you enough...
Three Freaky Dreams....
First I dreamt that I had a man laying over me, crouched on my bed, with a fabric sash or some such ready to strangle me. I laid there, pretending to be asleep, screaming in my head for him to go away, thinking that if he didn't think I woke up, he would leave. Then I woke up and realized it was a dream. I could feel the pressure from his body still on my legs. No, I couldn't go back to sleep for a long time. That was at 1 am.
Then I dreamt I was in a bar, and it was a familiar place, but a dreamy place, not a real one I know. I sat and drank and visited with one woman at the bar, then another in the restroom, where there was a big goldfish in the toliet bowl. The toliet bowl was a huge glass fish bowl, and you had to sit right about the fish on a clear seat. Then I visited with another woman who apprently knew me, but I didn't know her. I saw my exhusband, my step children, etc. It was very odd. Then someone asked me if I was having a good time, and if I liked the women I had talked to, and I said yeah it was fine. Oh, don't you know this is a lesbian bar? lol... uh no, but my ex being here doesn't surprise me now...lol
The third one is deeply embedded in my pysche... my phone rang, I answered it, and it was the too often mentioned man singing....
ok, it is now Friday and as soon as I get home I am having an Diet RC with rum and lime...
Better dreams on the way...
oh and have I mentioned my latest fortune cookie...? it said
AN UNUSUAL DREAM WILL COME TRUE and with my favorite ending of "in bed"
guess that was the dreaming part of it...
Then I dreamt I was in a bar, and it was a familiar place, but a dreamy place, not a real one I know. I sat and drank and visited with one woman at the bar, then another in the restroom, where there was a big goldfish in the toliet bowl. The toliet bowl was a huge glass fish bowl, and you had to sit right about the fish on a clear seat. Then I visited with another woman who apprently knew me, but I didn't know her. I saw my exhusband, my step children, etc. It was very odd. Then someone asked me if I was having a good time, and if I liked the women I had talked to, and I said yeah it was fine. Oh, don't you know this is a lesbian bar? lol... uh no, but my ex being here doesn't surprise me now...lol
The third one is deeply embedded in my pysche... my phone rang, I answered it, and it was the too often mentioned man singing....
ok, it is now Friday and as soon as I get home I am having an Diet RC with rum and lime...
Better dreams on the way...
oh and have I mentioned my latest fortune cookie...? it said
AN UNUSUAL DREAM WILL COME TRUE and with my favorite ending of "in bed"
guess that was the dreaming part of it...
Thursday, January 26, 2006
I have done it before
And I would do it again. I would follow you into the belly of a snake... as long as we were both there. Of course, the belly of a snake might be a bit different than a hiking trail that should be a 1o minute hike and turns into an entire morning, or the wrong way to Hamilton Pool. Of course, I would also tell you that you are right, because most of the time you are...
You? hmmmm, that has yet to be determined (who you is)
You? hmmmm, that has yet to be determined (who you is)
Walls
On my birthday, the previous, not to be named, MAN, who I am trying to "move on" or "get passed" sent me a text message. He was very sweetly and goofily singing Happy Birthday in his rendition of Mickey Mouseketeer music and Goofy's voice. Of course it was all text, and the effects had to be imagined... But I knew it was meant to be a light, innocent version of birthday wishes....
It came on one of the BAD days... The few really bad days that occur in life. He was there for another, the day I had my knee surgery and that was the next thought that came to mind. When I was almost in tears with the thought of going into surgery by myself, with no one there, he showed up. There were delays and we waited and waited and waited, and yet, he stayed, he didn't leave, he didn't even act like he needed to leave, even though I know he did. That, in itself, even though, even THEN, I knew we would never see our relationship to fruition, meant the world to me.
About a month before that, when we ran into each other and ended up sitting and talking for hours, I was astounded at what I learned. This man sat across from me and told me I was not the only one who had feelings, but he never, never, expressed what feelings he had.
His text message tells me that it may be just as hard for him to let it go as well. All I can say, is that if he did express true feelings, I would welcome him into my life without judgment and with open arms.
I can also say that if he isn't going to come into my life, for all the pain it causes to have him in the fringes and keeping me from truly moving on... I wish he would just get out.
I saw a post card on another blog today that fits me to a T. Here it is.
Monday, January 23, 2006
The Curse is Broken... I hope
Happy Birthday to me... it is officially the "new" worst one of my life.
Ummmm the new one you ask? yes, the original worst birthday was my eighteenth birthday. The worst one was the one you became legal? to drink, to have sex, to vote? yes, it was. My first and strongest love, the first man I gave myself to, broke my heart on my birthday by breaking up with me. That is the shorter than Reader's Digest Version.
Ever since then I have guarded my birthdays and made sure they were safe, if not fun. Many were fun, some were grand, and last year was the best by far in many many years.... only to be followed by the worst.
I was determined to have a great day today. The plan was to go to school, see all my little lovelies, who were all ready to wish me a grand birthday, some bearing gifts... I mean... no one gets what a birthday should be, like a 5 year old. We baked a cake in the room, we ate lunch in the room, we ate the cake and they sang to me... my two favorite teachers were there and we laughed and enjoyed and the adults teased me by asking the students how old I was. Then I told the students I was 17 and they ate it hook line and sinker...
Then, at 12:20 I was biting tape, to tear it, and my front tooth broke off. No, the cap didn't come off, the tooth literally broke off at the gum line. By 2 I was in a dentist's office, my students were in capable hands after I explained my teeth don't grow back in like theirs do. I was there and then at an endodontist until after 7 pm.
So much for my night out with Amused Muse.... I had to have a root canal re done. Which means they drill out the old one before putting in the new one. A temporary fake tooth, just for looks was inserted and will have to be replaced. What they will do then is a post will be inserted into the root cavity, attached to a fake tooth and cemented in my jaw.
Have I ever told you my aversion to dentists? I wish they would just pull all my teeth, then I could give great head, and not have to sell my soul to pay the dentist, or endure the pain they inflict, which is just as, if not more, mentally painful as it is physically.
So no, 5 hours and just as much bawling as I did (initially) over Paul, in a dentist office is not 2nd or 3rd worst, it is THE worst birthday of my life thusfar.
Goodnight all, a xanax, 800 mg motrin and a muscle relaxer will have me good as new in the moring for ....
what else...?
CLASS PICTURES.
Ummmm the new one you ask? yes, the original worst birthday was my eighteenth birthday. The worst one was the one you became legal? to drink, to have sex, to vote? yes, it was. My first and strongest love, the first man I gave myself to, broke my heart on my birthday by breaking up with me. That is the shorter than Reader's Digest Version.
Ever since then I have guarded my birthdays and made sure they were safe, if not fun. Many were fun, some were grand, and last year was the best by far in many many years.... only to be followed by the worst.
I was determined to have a great day today. The plan was to go to school, see all my little lovelies, who were all ready to wish me a grand birthday, some bearing gifts... I mean... no one gets what a birthday should be, like a 5 year old. We baked a cake in the room, we ate lunch in the room, we ate the cake and they sang to me... my two favorite teachers were there and we laughed and enjoyed and the adults teased me by asking the students how old I was. Then I told the students I was 17 and they ate it hook line and sinker...
Then, at 12:20 I was biting tape, to tear it, and my front tooth broke off. No, the cap didn't come off, the tooth literally broke off at the gum line. By 2 I was in a dentist's office, my students were in capable hands after I explained my teeth don't grow back in like theirs do. I was there and then at an endodontist until after 7 pm.
So much for my night out with Amused Muse.... I had to have a root canal re done. Which means they drill out the old one before putting in the new one. A temporary fake tooth, just for looks was inserted and will have to be replaced. What they will do then is a post will be inserted into the root cavity, attached to a fake tooth and cemented in my jaw.
Have I ever told you my aversion to dentists? I wish they would just pull all my teeth, then I could give great head, and not have to sell my soul to pay the dentist, or endure the pain they inflict, which is just as, if not more, mentally painful as it is physically.
So no, 5 hours and just as much bawling as I did (initially) over Paul, in a dentist office is not 2nd or 3rd worst, it is THE worst birthday of my life thusfar.
Goodnight all, a xanax, 800 mg motrin and a muscle relaxer will have me good as new in the moring for ....
what else...?
CLASS PICTURES.
Freaky Birthday Eve
Yesterday, between when RJ and went to eat brunch and when I left for grocery shopping someone decided to steal some stuff out of my backyard. I had two sets of folding, solid wood, doors leaning up against my kayak, which was upside down on my workbench. Given, they were put there hastily when I moved in. I have been working so hard on the inside of my new place I had not done anything behind the apt. Needless to say, they went away in a puff of smoke, and I was scared the kayak would be next. RJ came over and loaded up the kayak to store it in his garage. I continued on to do my grocery shopping. When I returned, I walked around the building toward my front door and one of my japanese lanterns was shattered all over the sidewalk in front of my house. It could have fallen over, it rained yesterday, it was leaning a bit, the top alone weighs over 60 lbs and it is over 4 ft tall and all cement. It was to say the least, Freaky... I didn't sleep well and now I am not big on going out and coming home alone late after I have been drinking... not over drinking, just drinking... I may just come home this evening...
Sunday, January 22, 2006
Dusting Myself Off and Getting Back in the Game
Trapped suggested that I not let the thing with KJ bother me and to move on. Good advice... so I did. Went fishing on the personals site, found an interesting looking/sounding guy, wrote a short note. Heard back from him right away with a phone number... hmmmm I am getting hungry, think I will call and see if he asks me to lunch... he did, we went where I was wanting to go, I ate what I wanted to eat. Things were going along fine til he informed me that he didn't agree with my choice in knee surgeons. Said, in this really condescending tone, "why did you pick him? that isn't his specialty... why didn't you research who should do it?" etc. Then that happened about several other things... and I just kept thinking... Lunch will be over soon, eat faster.
I will give him this, he had table manners, most of the men I meet have forgotten how to eat at the table with other people or they just don't care that they look like a hyena eating a lioness and throw food all over.
Oh, and then I came home, did some more fishing, found another one that looked like Burt Reynolds in his early days (hey, he was very handsome, and quite the catch) and sent him an instant message. WE talked a bit, but he wanted nude photos and couldn't wait to show me his....
UH NO! I don't have any nude photos... good God people I am a teacher, I can't afford to have incriminating stuff on the internet or anywhere else... I mean... I am pushing the envelope letting parents give me gifts of Rum, rum balls, bottles of coffee liquer... I can't help it if they truly understand what it is like to spend your entire day with 5 year olds...
Today, well today, I think I will just hang out and not go fishing... wait for a day when the good ones are biting, or I am up for another strange adventure...
Being alone, it isn't bad, it just takes major adjustment... I am adjusting...
I will give him this, he had table manners, most of the men I meet have forgotten how to eat at the table with other people or they just don't care that they look like a hyena eating a lioness and throw food all over.
Oh, and then I came home, did some more fishing, found another one that looked like Burt Reynolds in his early days (hey, he was very handsome, and quite the catch) and sent him an instant message. WE talked a bit, but he wanted nude photos and couldn't wait to show me his....
UH NO! I don't have any nude photos... good God people I am a teacher, I can't afford to have incriminating stuff on the internet or anywhere else... I mean... I am pushing the envelope letting parents give me gifts of Rum, rum balls, bottles of coffee liquer... I can't help it if they truly understand what it is like to spend your entire day with 5 year olds...
Today, well today, I think I will just hang out and not go fishing... wait for a day when the good ones are biting, or I am up for another strange adventure...
Being alone, it isn't bad, it just takes major adjustment... I am adjusting...
Friday, January 20, 2006
Birthday Dinner with RJ
Tonight RJ took me to one of my favorite Chinese Restaurants, but not PF Changs, due to what the wait would be... at 8 in the evening. Anyway, the duck was great (Duck for my birthday dinner with RJ, yum) and despite the day was the DAY FROM HELL, we had a very nice dinner.
My day from hell started with the Bitches across the hall (coworkers, I won't even consider them colleagues) and ended with the rejection of kayakjak.
At the end of the meal, my fortune cookie arrived with the apropos message of:
You need a new environment- go on a vacation.
My day from hell started with the Bitches across the hall (coworkers, I won't even consider them colleagues) and ended with the rejection of kayakjak.
At the end of the meal, my fortune cookie arrived with the apropos message of:
You need a new environment- go on a vacation.
GEEEZZZZ LOUISE>>>>
Calgon Take me away.
Throw me a curve ball why don't ya...
well boys and girls, kayakjak cooked dinner for me, spaghetti no less. My least favorite meal and yet it was a great meal, the spaghetti was possibly the best I have ever had. I enjoyed his company but was dismayed at some things that were lacking in the conversation/actions on his part. Even though he seemed glad to see me, gave me reasons to think I would be seeing a great deal of him in the future and made plans with me for the weekend. Needless to say, he was feeling the same "lack" of something or something similar, or had a change of heart. He chose to give me the shaft today... stating he just didn't see it working out down the road. Not real sure why, but I appreciated the honesty. Oh well, .... NEXT....
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
KayakJak
Take notes boys and girls... when the date starts at 2 in the afternoon for lunch, and turns into lunch, a walk, a movie, dinner, a drive and a walk to your car... it is a GOOD date.
He's Tall, He's funny, there is never a dull moment and we talked and talked and talked. The perfect gentleman, who let me know he was interested with his light touch while holding my hand. We were very comfortable with each other, and he has now invited me for dinner at his place later this week...
My fellow blogger thinks it is a ploy to make his 'move'... what do you think? Here is a pic of him a little bit younger, the shoulders look broad, but man, you should see them in person...
Saturday, January 14, 2006
Internet Dating
Ok boys and girls, last year when I gave this a shot all the men were named David... I gave them nicknames, and this year...
this year most of them are called Scott. I am giving them nicknames as well.
Yes, there has been some nibbles on my fishing line. Then again I have nibbled on some lines that have been dropped down in front of me.
There is kayakjak, he is looking really interesting. Likes to kayak, likes sports, understands my knee injury, the conversation is interesting and flows and he asked for my phone number. We have exchanged several photos, and he knows all aobut my kayak and what I need for it, and we have discussed an adventure out on the water. Those of you who know me well... well, let's just say that you know that is very appealing to me.
There is Mr. Bean (not a cut, just happens he is an accountant), who has sent several emails, but the jury is still out. Hasn't said much, except status, kids, work, and location. Which are all things I don't usually ask right away. I like to enjoy my dinner conversation without having the routine rundown of status. Not that it is a bad thing, I don't mind him sharing, but I don't ask it. I don't define a man by his vocation.
There is the Phoenix, yeah, another form of the Bennu, so that could be interesting. Chatted with him online before he took off for a weekend in Big Bend... have tentative plans to meet next Wednesday. A date for sure, and Wednesday is probably the best day, he is going to call when he gets back.
Then there is Mr. Enigma, whose profile shows him to be in SA, but when he writes back, my info shows him to be in the UK/Ireland. He asks short, one line questions, and one at a time... it is somewhat interesting and intriguing but is an enigma just the same...
What can I say, it is feast or famine and when you first go into online dating it goes well for a bit, then dies off... or so it has with me in the past.
So if Trapped reads this, as another one in the boat of online dating, let me know what you think.
this year most of them are called Scott. I am giving them nicknames as well.
Yes, there has been some nibbles on my fishing line. Then again I have nibbled on some lines that have been dropped down in front of me.
There is kayakjak, he is looking really interesting. Likes to kayak, likes sports, understands my knee injury, the conversation is interesting and flows and he asked for my phone number. We have exchanged several photos, and he knows all aobut my kayak and what I need for it, and we have discussed an adventure out on the water. Those of you who know me well... well, let's just say that you know that is very appealing to me.
There is Mr. Bean (not a cut, just happens he is an accountant), who has sent several emails, but the jury is still out. Hasn't said much, except status, kids, work, and location. Which are all things I don't usually ask right away. I like to enjoy my dinner conversation without having the routine rundown of status. Not that it is a bad thing, I don't mind him sharing, but I don't ask it. I don't define a man by his vocation.
There is the Phoenix, yeah, another form of the Bennu, so that could be interesting. Chatted with him online before he took off for a weekend in Big Bend... have tentative plans to meet next Wednesday. A date for sure, and Wednesday is probably the best day, he is going to call when he gets back.
Then there is Mr. Enigma, whose profile shows him to be in SA, but when he writes back, my info shows him to be in the UK/Ireland. He asks short, one line questions, and one at a time... it is somewhat interesting and intriguing but is an enigma just the same...
What can I say, it is feast or famine and when you first go into online dating it goes well for a bit, then dies off... or so it has with me in the past.
So if Trapped reads this, as another one in the boat of online dating, let me know what you think.
Woo Hoo It's Saturday!!!
It isn't like I am going to have a funfilled, carefree weekend, I have many things to do. However, I am going to enjoy getting my house in order.
There is something fun about going to the laundromat ... ONCE< it won't be as fun the next time or the hundredth time, but the first time, when you haven't been in years is an experience.
Today I have already unpacked 4 boxes, and am still working on it.
Then there is a trip to the bookstore for books for teaching the short i sound.
I think that is a day full, including cleaning the bathroom. Woo Hoo... It is Saturday... the sun is shining and I am working... It's all Good.
There is something fun about going to the laundromat ... ONCE< it won't be as fun the next time or the hundredth time, but the first time, when you haven't been in years is an experience.
Today I have already unpacked 4 boxes, and am still working on it.
Then there is a trip to the bookstore for books for teaching the short i sound.
I think that is a day full, including cleaning the bathroom. Woo Hoo... It is Saturday... the sun is shining and I am working... It's all Good.
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Today's List from 4pm on
Wash dishes
Carry out trash
meeting with friend
yoga 6:15-7:15
organize bedroom/bathroom somewhat (know it won't be finished)
start reading new book, The Time Traveler's Wife
Get a good night's sleep
Done, Done and Done ;) got them all, for once...
Carry out trash
meeting with friend
yoga 6:15-7:15
organize bedroom/bathroom somewhat (know it won't be finished)
start reading new book, The Time Traveler's Wife
Get a good night's sleep
Done, Done and Done ;) got them all, for once...
STOP the Stupidity!!!
This Savage Chickens says it all. I think too much... makes happiness difficult. Umm,... I am working on it, give me some time. JD did tell me today that I shouldn't blog when drunk and horny... hmmmm... I think it makes me human and to some extent more exciting... how about you?
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
Stupid Is as Stupid Does... Chapter Two
Ok, so Amused Muse reminds, ok... bitched at me, that I only told Chapter One of SIASD.
I came home ALONE, drunk as a skunk and wrote an email that I should not have written... not only that, it got a response, and I had to work up to reading it... couldn't open it right away...
LSS, it was closure, I can now walk on down the road to finding a SO without a ghost I had yesterday... It really hurts when a good one gets away and you don't know why it had to happen that way...
Most of it, well most of it (my stupidity of late) is an adjustment to my new life... I just have to work past it, or through it, or live through it... I will be great in the end, and I know it.
Oh, and she can't talk, she does stupid things when she has been drinking sometimes too... lol so there...
I came home ALONE, drunk as a skunk and wrote an email that I should not have written... not only that, it got a response, and I had to work up to reading it... couldn't open it right away...
LSS, it was closure, I can now walk on down the road to finding a SO without a ghost I had yesterday... It really hurts when a good one gets away and you don't know why it had to happen that way...
Most of it, well most of it (my stupidity of late) is an adjustment to my new life... I just have to work past it, or through it, or live through it... I will be great in the end, and I know it.
Oh, and she can't talk, she does stupid things when she has been drinking sometimes too... lol so there...
I Feel Stupid
I have been drunk, I have been very drunk, but I haven't been as drunk as I got last night in years... perhaps decades. I drank the whole small bottle of rum and had several jello shots.
I did stupid things, and as Forest Gump would say, "Stupid is as Stupid does"... yes I am.
I did stupid things, and as Forest Gump would say, "Stupid is as Stupid does"... yes I am.
You Only Play as Well as Your Opponent ... IN BAR LIFE
When you walk into a bar, say a place as small as a VFW, and look around at the wildlife *read as men, and there isn't anyone you would even remotely be attracted to if shopping for a man on a internet personals site... suddenly it is like the worst basketball games I ever played while in highschool. Your opponent is so bad that you play as bad or worse than they do.
Hence the drunken comment that there were several men I would consider jumping.
I think that happens no matter where you are. I also think you can meet the man of your dreams at the laundromat or the ball... the Ball, as in Cinderella.
Hence the drunken comment that there were several men I would consider jumping.
I think that happens no matter where you are. I also think you can meet the man of your dreams at the laundromat or the ball... the Ball, as in Cinderella.
Monday, January 09, 2006
What the F**K or Drinking and Blogging
Wait, you don't know my favorite saying while drunk? of course you should by now.
Amused Muse and I met for a week night of drinking at the VFW, for those of you who are too young, that stands for Veterans of Foreign Wars. And, yes I am toasted, blitzed, wasted, fucked over, and... apparently from what what the bar tendress said, a lesbian.
Why is it that everytime AM and I go somewhere and get blitzed, men think we are into each other and not them? There were at least 3 men in there I would have "done" yes I said "done" either sober or drunk, and more I would have done drunk... what? you haven't read my resolution for the year. Well go back and read MF>
lol, blogging and drinking, hmmm not a smart fix... lol, but damn, I feel good, now if only someone were here to feel me...lol
oh I did a Pick Three today, no fishing, but a Pick Three, and I got one to bite back.. we will see what the new year has in store..
Good night all, sweet dreams, from Bob and me...lol
Amused Muse and I met for a week night of drinking at the VFW, for those of you who are too young, that stands for Veterans of Foreign Wars. And, yes I am toasted, blitzed, wasted, fucked over, and... apparently from what what the bar tendress said, a lesbian.
Why is it that everytime AM and I go somewhere and get blitzed, men think we are into each other and not them? There were at least 3 men in there I would have "done" yes I said "done" either sober or drunk, and more I would have done drunk... what? you haven't read my resolution for the year. Well go back and read MF>
lol, blogging and drinking, hmmm not a smart fix... lol, but damn, I feel good, now if only someone were here to feel me...lol
oh I did a Pick Three today, no fishing, but a Pick Three, and I got one to bite back.. we will see what the new year has in store..
Good night all, sweet dreams, from Bob and me...lol
Sunday, January 08, 2006
From Across the Pond
Unconscious mutterings #153
I say ... and you think ... ?
Better off :: alone
Girls ::Girls Gone Wild (why didn't they have that when I could have been on it?)
Uniform :: A Man in UNIFORM does it for me every time
Classified :: Intelligence...as in "IF I told you I would have to kill you
Hard :: on... ok, I know I am not usually that blunt, but there is a drought here
Kitty :: Kitty Kitty
Team :: football, baseball, basketball, I like all those teams, just watching those sweaty men... did I say there was a drought? nuf said
Massive ::heart attack
Depressed :: again, after thinking about all those imaginary men
Award ::nominee
now you copy and paste in the comments and add your own.
I say ... and you think ... ?
Better off :: alone
Girls ::Girls Gone Wild (why didn't they have that when I could have been on it?)
Uniform :: A Man in UNIFORM does it for me every time
Classified :: Intelligence...as in "IF I told you I would have to kill you
Hard :: on... ok, I know I am not usually that blunt, but there is a drought here
Kitty :: Kitty Kitty
Team :: football, baseball, basketball, I like all those teams, just watching those sweaty men... did I say there was a drought? nuf said
Massive ::heart attack
Depressed :: again, after thinking about all those imaginary men
Award ::nominee
now you copy and paste in the comments and add your own.
Saturday, January 07, 2006
Sunday, and a list I can never complete but wish I could
1. Drive to San Marcos to the Outlet Mall for Potion #9 (haircare), Chico's for some casual pants for the weekend pool playing, and Bath and Body works for some hand soap for my kitchen. Pick up 3 extra boxes of stuff I left at old neighbor's house in New Braunfels done
2. Trip to the laundromat (new place doesn't have washer/dryer hookups) to do sheets, towels, and 3 loads of clothes
3. Trip to the bookstore for a book for teaching the letter G, and something good for me to read done
4. Unpacking bathroom boxes and putting stuff in the linen closet in the hall upstairs (new bathroom has no storage to speak of)
5. Organize closet (so I can find my clothes for work vs pool playing clothes)
6. Get an inspection sticker on my vehicle
7. Unpack Blue Willow Dishes done
8. Wash dishes
9. Carry out trash
10. Rearrange furniture
11. Wash the car
12. air up bike tires
13. load up school boxes and take to school on Monday
14. Write lesson plans
15. Create Display Board for polymer/snow demonstration for Science/Technology Night on Tuesday
Yeah I know I won't get it all done, it will be interesting to see what I do get done though...
2. Trip to the laundromat (new place doesn't have washer/dryer hookups) to do sheets, towels, and 3 loads of clothes
3. Trip to the bookstore for a book for teaching the letter G, and something good for me to read done
4. Unpacking bathroom boxes and putting stuff in the linen closet in the hall upstairs (new bathroom has no storage to speak of)
5. Organize closet (so I can find my clothes for work vs pool playing clothes)
6. Get an inspection sticker on my vehicle
7. Unpack Blue Willow Dishes done
8. Wash dishes
9. Carry out trash
10. Rearrange furniture
11. Wash the car
12. air up bike tires
13. load up school boxes and take to school on Monday
14. Write lesson plans
15. Create Display Board for polymer/snow demonstration for Science/Technology Night on Tuesday
Yeah I know I won't get it all done, it will be interesting to see what I do get done though...
Blah Blah Blah
Today was a bad day. I was/am "fussy". Had an argument/discussion via messenger with JD in Afghanistan, got pissed at Amused Muse, had no patience for RJ, and overall spent the day trying to not feel so tired I couldn't get off the couch. Finally took a nap off and on from 3-5, then returned calls from RJ.
We ended up going to eat some Mexican food, then a trip to a bar across town to play 3 games of pool and a few drinks. We thought we would go bar hopping, but then couldn't find another place we wanted to go. I was tired by 10:30 and so we came back here and watched a little of a very lame SNL.
Now I am about to retire to my comfy bed upstairs and get forty winks. A blah day and I am hoping for a better one tomorrow.
I need to get out of this funk, it is driving me nuts.
We ended up going to eat some Mexican food, then a trip to a bar across town to play 3 games of pool and a few drinks. We thought we would go bar hopping, but then couldn't find another place we wanted to go. I was tired by 10:30 and so we came back here and watched a little of a very lame SNL.
Now I am about to retire to my comfy bed upstairs and get forty winks. A blah day and I am hoping for a better one tomorrow.
I need to get out of this funk, it is driving me nuts.
What the F***?
I have pondered a question by a fellow blogger, or should I say blogger fellow about my ex's.
Shitheads? Naive? Boring?
Ummmm can I claim all three? Actually, I should be a bit nicer than that... but I don't want to.
The first one, he is boring, we had nothing in common. I married him the same year my dad and granny bea died. Looking back I think I married him to have someone to take care of me. I knew I wanted children so I had my first at 23 less than two weeks before my birthday. I wanted about 6 children, I had 2, with the same husband, and no more. Divorced him when I realized I had lost all self esteem and identity of who I was and I wanted to regain them. He did anything, everything, I told him to. That isn't what I wanted either. It sounds good, but ladies, just be careful what you ask for. He still does do everything I tell him to, and he has been remarried for over 12 years. I would sum it up as a NON PERSONALITY.
The second, well, he wasn't my dream man, but he was my best friend. I was closer to him than I thought was possible with any man. I am not sure what happened, all I know is that he didn't want to make it work, he didn't have enough self esteem, and he didn't have the balls to let me know when I "offended" him. Now, that is just my interpretation. I lost my best friend, but I found new ones. As a lover, ... well let's just refer to the saying that there are three things in marriage you must have going for you and for each one that isn't it causes great stress. They are money issues, sex, and family relations, we had all three problems. It was doomed, and I am better off alone, so things work out for the best.
My best relationships were with men that I didn't marry, and I feel it is in my best interest to not remarry. I have learned that I can stay in it for the long haul, if he is willing to as well. I also need a man strong enough to stand up to me in a respectful way.
There is a song by Train called Meet Virginia, and I don't really want to be the queen. I just want a man to treat like a king, who will treat me like princess. I know it probably won't ever happen, but I can still dream. In the meantime, I continue to live life to the fullest.
I refer to the saying "lucky in cards, unlucky in love" so I will go play poker now.
The title seemed appropriate, what can I say?
Shitheads? Naive? Boring?
Ummmm can I claim all three? Actually, I should be a bit nicer than that... but I don't want to.
The first one, he is boring, we had nothing in common. I married him the same year my dad and granny bea died. Looking back I think I married him to have someone to take care of me. I knew I wanted children so I had my first at 23 less than two weeks before my birthday. I wanted about 6 children, I had 2, with the same husband, and no more. Divorced him when I realized I had lost all self esteem and identity of who I was and I wanted to regain them. He did anything, everything, I told him to. That isn't what I wanted either. It sounds good, but ladies, just be careful what you ask for. He still does do everything I tell him to, and he has been remarried for over 12 years. I would sum it up as a NON PERSONALITY.
The second, well, he wasn't my dream man, but he was my best friend. I was closer to him than I thought was possible with any man. I am not sure what happened, all I know is that he didn't want to make it work, he didn't have enough self esteem, and he didn't have the balls to let me know when I "offended" him. Now, that is just my interpretation. I lost my best friend, but I found new ones. As a lover, ... well let's just refer to the saying that there are three things in marriage you must have going for you and for each one that isn't it causes great stress. They are money issues, sex, and family relations, we had all three problems. It was doomed, and I am better off alone, so things work out for the best.
My best relationships were with men that I didn't marry, and I feel it is in my best interest to not remarry. I have learned that I can stay in it for the long haul, if he is willing to as well. I also need a man strong enough to stand up to me in a respectful way.
There is a song by Train called Meet Virginia, and I don't really want to be the queen. I just want a man to treat like a king, who will treat me like princess. I know it probably won't ever happen, but I can still dream. In the meantime, I continue to live life to the fullest.
I refer to the saying "lucky in cards, unlucky in love" so I will go play poker now.
The title seemed appropriate, what can I say?
Thursday, January 05, 2006
Day 5
Today's List
Get up (yes, sometimes it is hard to get up, esp. after a national championship football game and a Texas team won)check
Get some cash check
Stand in line to get new tags for car check
Grocery Shopping check
Get up (yes, sometimes it is hard to get up, esp. after a national championship football game and a Texas team won)check
Get some cash check
Stand in line to get new tags for car check
Grocery Shopping check
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
Day Four
Today my goal was to play poker with Jessie James. I didn't make my goal. He was late coming to get me. (actually, I drove my own car, he just came by so I could follow him there) We got to the game too late to play. Sat and drank, watched the first half of the Rose Bowl and then drove home after a brief goodnight.
SOMETHING about a man, friend or otherwise, who visits with everyone else in the bar (he knows all the poker players) and leaves me to sit at the bar drinking, drinking heavily.... on his tab.... that SOMETHING does not get brownie points in my book. I left at half time... oh yeah I already mentioned that didn't I?
I am thinking Yoga on Wednesday is the way to go.
The Rosebowl is a good game, it isn't over yet, so if the Longhorns lose, they gave USC a run for their money. If not... WOOHOO LONGHORNS!!!!
Oh yeah, did I mention, I was drinking heavily? lol, well let's just say, I am feeling it now...
Sweet dreams to all... next time remind me to go to yoga.
SOMETHING about a man, friend or otherwise, who visits with everyone else in the bar (he knows all the poker players) and leaves me to sit at the bar drinking, drinking heavily.... on his tab.... that SOMETHING does not get brownie points in my book. I left at half time... oh yeah I already mentioned that didn't I?
I am thinking Yoga on Wednesday is the way to go.
The Rosebowl is a good game, it isn't over yet, so if the Longhorns lose, they gave USC a run for their money. If not... WOOHOO LONGHORNS!!!!
Oh yeah, did I mention, I was drinking heavily? lol, well let's just say, I am feeling it now...
Sweet dreams to all... next time remind me to go to yoga.
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
Nine Layers
Layer one
Name: Cindy
Birth date: January 23
Birth place: Methodist Hospital, Lubbock, Texas, USA
Current location: San Antonio, TX
Eye colour: Green
Hair colour: Brownish Red over Gray I had at 22
Height: 5' 9"
Righty or lefty: lefty
Zodiac sign: Aquarius
Layer two
Your heritage: English/German
The shoes you wore today: BORN brown leather slip-ons (first day back at school after Christmas holidays
Your weaknesses: anything "beachy", pink flamingos, anything purple, chocolate, complimentary men, men who know how to flirt without being leaches, words, people who are good with words, Rum, Chicos, and babies
Your fears: snakes
Your perfect pizza: Pizza Hut, Pepperoni Lovers with mushrooms and onions
Goal you'd like to achieve: I have my dream job, so it would be.... Traveling the world, esp. Italy, Costa Rico, Greece, and Alaska....oh and river rafting down the Colorado River
Layer three
Your most overused phrase: When I am drinking - What the Fuck, When I am not drinking ... What planet are you from?
Your first waking thoughts: I wish I had someone to bring me a diet coke
Your best physical feature: Hair, Smile
Your most missed memory: oh there are so many... Vacations with my family driving all over the state of Texas, and going to Mexico and staying over at one of the border towns for a week.
Layer four
Pepsi or Coke: Coke... Diet of course
McDonald's or Burger King: Whataburger
Single or group dates: single
Adidas or Nike: Adidas
Lipton Ice Tea of Nestea: Lipton Ice Tea
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate, Chocolate, Chocolate
Capuccino or coffee: Chai Tea
Layer five
Smoke: Cigarettes, never, Wacky Weed not anymore :(
Cuss: yes, like a sailor
Sing: yes, badly but all the time
Take a shower everyday: Yes
Do you think you've been in love: yes
Want to go to college: Been There, Done That
Liked high school: hated it
Want to get married: Been There, Done That, not again, but a SO yes, I want one
Believe in yourself: yes
Get motion sickness: no
Think you're attractive: yes
Think you're a health freak: define freak...lol, no, but I like to be healthy
Get along with your parent(s): usually
Like thunderstorms: love them
Play an instrument: kazoo and tambourine
Layer six
- in the last month ......
Drank alcohol: yes
Smoked: no
Done a drug: no
Made out: yes
Gone on a date: yes
Gone to the mall: yes
Eaten an entire box of Oreos: no
Eaten sushi: no
Been on stage: no
Been dumped: no
Gone skating: rollerblading yes
Made homemade cookies: yes
Gone skinny dipping: no, it is Winter here
Dyed your hair: no
Stolen anything: no
Layer seven
- ever ......
Played a game that required removal of clothing: yes
If so, was it in mixed company: yes
Been trashed or extremely intoxicate: yes
Been caught "doing something!": yes
Been called a tease: yes, a very long time ago
Shoplifted: yes
Changed who you were to fit in: yes, as a teenager
Layer eight
Age you hope to be married: n/a but was at 22 and 30
Numbers and names of children: 2, Josh and Casey
Describe your dream wedding: Had it when I was 30,
How do you want to die: Quickly without any pain
Where you want to go to college: If I went again, Texas A&M
What do you want to be when you grow up: Happy
What country would you most like to visit: Italy
Layer nine
Number of people I would trust with my life: 0
Number of CDs that I own: around 50
Number of piercings: 4 - 2 in each ear
Number of tattoos: 0
Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: 3 that I know of ;)
Number of scars on my body: 3 that I can think of off the bat
Number of things in my past that I regret: NO REGRETS
Name: Cindy
Birth date: January 23
Birth place: Methodist Hospital, Lubbock, Texas, USA
Current location: San Antonio, TX
Eye colour: Green
Hair colour: Brownish Red over Gray I had at 22
Height: 5' 9"
Righty or lefty: lefty
Zodiac sign: Aquarius
Layer two
Your heritage: English/German
The shoes you wore today: BORN brown leather slip-ons (first day back at school after Christmas holidays
Your weaknesses: anything "beachy", pink flamingos, anything purple, chocolate, complimentary men, men who know how to flirt without being leaches, words, people who are good with words, Rum, Chicos, and babies
Your fears: snakes
Your perfect pizza: Pizza Hut, Pepperoni Lovers with mushrooms and onions
Goal you'd like to achieve: I have my dream job, so it would be.... Traveling the world, esp. Italy, Costa Rico, Greece, and Alaska....oh and river rafting down the Colorado River
Layer three
Your most overused phrase: When I am drinking - What the Fuck, When I am not drinking ... What planet are you from?
Your first waking thoughts: I wish I had someone to bring me a diet coke
Your best physical feature: Hair, Smile
Your most missed memory: oh there are so many... Vacations with my family driving all over the state of Texas, and going to Mexico and staying over at one of the border towns for a week.
Layer four
Pepsi or Coke: Coke... Diet of course
McDonald's or Burger King: Whataburger
Single or group dates: single
Adidas or Nike: Adidas
Lipton Ice Tea of Nestea: Lipton Ice Tea
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate, Chocolate, Chocolate
Capuccino or coffee: Chai Tea
Layer five
Smoke: Cigarettes, never, Wacky Weed not anymore :(
Cuss: yes, like a sailor
Sing: yes, badly but all the time
Take a shower everyday: Yes
Do you think you've been in love: yes
Want to go to college: Been There, Done That
Liked high school: hated it
Want to get married: Been There, Done That, not again, but a SO yes, I want one
Believe in yourself: yes
Get motion sickness: no
Think you're attractive: yes
Think you're a health freak: define freak...lol, no, but I like to be healthy
Get along with your parent(s): usually
Like thunderstorms: love them
Play an instrument: kazoo and tambourine
Layer six
- in the last month ......
Drank alcohol: yes
Smoked: no
Done a drug: no
Made out: yes
Gone on a date: yes
Gone to the mall: yes
Eaten an entire box of Oreos: no
Eaten sushi: no
Been on stage: no
Been dumped: no
Gone skating: rollerblading yes
Made homemade cookies: yes
Gone skinny dipping: no, it is Winter here
Dyed your hair: no
Stolen anything: no
Layer seven
- ever ......
Played a game that required removal of clothing: yes
If so, was it in mixed company: yes
Been trashed or extremely intoxicate: yes
Been caught "doing something!": yes
Been called a tease: yes, a very long time ago
Shoplifted: yes
Changed who you were to fit in: yes, as a teenager
Layer eight
Age you hope to be married: n/a but was at 22 and 30
Numbers and names of children: 2, Josh and Casey
Describe your dream wedding: Had it when I was 30,
How do you want to die: Quickly without any pain
Where you want to go to college: If I went again, Texas A&M
What do you want to be when you grow up: Happy
What country would you most like to visit: Italy
Layer nine
Number of people I would trust with my life: 0
Number of CDs that I own: around 50
Number of piercings: 4 - 2 in each ear
Number of tattoos: 0
Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: 3 that I know of ;)
Number of scars on my body: 3 that I can think of off the bat
Number of things in my past that I regret: NO REGRETS
Day 3 List
Go to the bank check
Take oldest son to dinner check
get a trashcan for upstairs check
take a walk ummm well there wasn't really enough time
unpack two boxes of course not... even though I should
(all to be done after work)
Take oldest son to dinner check
get a trashcan for upstairs check
take a walk ummm well there wasn't really enough time
unpack two boxes of course not... even though I should
(all to be done after work)
Monday, January 02, 2006
All out of Adrenaline
I have slept enough to day to make up for all my fitfilled nights for two weeks, I think. I have no desire to do anything, even though I have forced myself to get up and do a few things. I am just about to walk out the door to run some errands and pick up something for dinner, even though I don't have a clue of what I might like to eat. I believe it will be an early evening for me. I am going to make a whole-hearted effort to go for a walk in my new neighborhood about 6 pm, just to get an idea of the "path" I will want to take on future walks and try to get me of the "funk" I am feeling today.
Moving is the second most stressful life occurance right after death... is losing two children due to them thinking they are grown the same as a feeling of death? I never thought their moving out would give me any qualms, but it certainly has. It has also made me appreciate their personalities more, without the messes they make. It is a whole new world now.... lookout, here I come...
Moving is the second most stressful life occurance right after death... is losing two children due to them thinking they are grown the same as a feeling of death? I never thought their moving out would give me any qualms, but it certainly has. It has also made me appreciate their personalities more, without the messes they make. It is a whole new world now.... lookout, here I come...
Day 2, Monday
Man I was so tired yesterday, I was late to poker playing, and not at all upset with losing early. I came home and promptly fell asleep on the couch, and sometime later woke up and put myself to bed. Of course going to bed so early, I woke up early as well. More time to get things done I suppose.
Today's List
Get the last load of moving stuff out of my car Done
Find my box of shoes well, one of them anyway, done
Put together clothes for work tomorrow (omg, I have to go back to work tomorrow, yuck) done
Wash sheets and towels will have to be done another day
That's about it, keep it light, even though, if you saw my car, you would know that isn't light. It is loaded down with the last weird stuff you aren't sure what to do with, but you know you have to move it junk.
More joy to come....
Today's List
Get the last load of moving stuff out of my car Done
Find my box of shoes well, one of them anyway, done
Put together clothes for work tomorrow (omg, I have to go back to work tomorrow, yuck) done
Wash sheets and towels will have to be done another day
That's about it, keep it light, even though, if you saw my car, you would know that isn't light. It is loaded down with the last weird stuff you aren't sure what to do with, but you know you have to move it junk.
More joy to come....
Sunday, January 01, 2006
Day One, 2006
Today I hope to accomplish:
Washing the dishes done
Cooking a great meal bacon, eggs and toast... done
Playing poker with friends .....and I lost ten dollars :(
Washing Towels and hanging them up to dry done
Eat an orange (don't eat enough fruit) CA Naval Orange, it was delish
Empty 2 boxes (just moved) didn't happen
Find my box of shoes didn't happen
One great thing that already happened today.... I spent the beginning of the new year with two great men that I am glad are my friends, RJ and Jessie James. How can you have a bad year when starting it off with two men drinking champagne and trying to see fireworks on a cloudy New Year's Eve? I think it is going to be a great year.
Washing the dishes done
Cooking a great meal bacon, eggs and toast... done
Playing poker with friends .....and I lost ten dollars :(
Washing Towels and hanging them up to dry done
Eat an orange (don't eat enough fruit) CA Naval Orange, it was delish
Empty 2 boxes (just moved) didn't happen
Find my box of shoes didn't happen
One great thing that already happened today.... I spent the beginning of the new year with two great men that I am glad are my friends, RJ and Jessie James. How can you have a bad year when starting it off with two men drinking champagne and trying to see fireworks on a cloudy New Year's Eve? I think it is going to be a great year.
New Year //// New Beginning
Oh I know... people write resolutions, try to change their lives at the beginning of each year, and yes, I am one of those people.
This year I am going to approach it just a little bit different. For one, you, the infinite world of blog readers (or I could just be writing to myself) are going to have a bird's eye view of my progress throughout the year.
My resolution is to make healthier choices for my psyche and phyical well being in the coming year. I am going to start by writing as often as possible about my goals I have each day.
I have one long term goal... it has to do with a bet I have with someone very close to me. I want to lose about 50 lbs. I don't know how long it will take, but I am hoping by the end of July, it will all be gone. So my weight right now will be known as X, and every week or so I will report on my blog what progress has been made or not, such as X-3, meaning I have lost three lbs.
And as I said, I will try to write a list of goals for each day, along with one thing that was good that happened as well, when I see how I progressed through my list.
I hope you all have a fruitful and wonderful new year. May your worst day of 2006 be comparable to your best day of 2005.
This year I am going to approach it just a little bit different. For one, you, the infinite world of blog readers (or I could just be writing to myself) are going to have a bird's eye view of my progress throughout the year.
My resolution is to make healthier choices for my psyche and phyical well being in the coming year. I am going to start by writing as often as possible about my goals I have each day.
I have one long term goal... it has to do with a bet I have with someone very close to me. I want to lose about 50 lbs. I don't know how long it will take, but I am hoping by the end of July, it will all be gone. So my weight right now will be known as X, and every week or so I will report on my blog what progress has been made or not, such as X-3, meaning I have lost three lbs.
And as I said, I will try to write a list of goals for each day, along with one thing that was good that happened as well, when I see how I progressed through my list.
I hope you all have a fruitful and wonderful new year. May your worst day of 2006 be comparable to your best day of 2005.
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