Birthdays.... have me thinking

Thursday I flew to see my mom
Friday was her birthday
As soon as I got here
she said
You know the last time you were here
was in April

uh... no, I hadn't thought about it
but you are right
I was trying to take care of my son
or rather take care of my stuff
while my son was at my house
so no... I haven't been here like
I normally would be
at least a week or two in the summer

Anyway, I asked what she wanted
for birthday dinner
which is apparently a tradition I started
and not her
because she was open for suggestions
but finally she chose
and I cooked

fresh peach cobbler
with peaches I brought with me
from the Farmers Market
using a recipe I created

Fried Chicken and gravy
(I learned how to make gravy here,
and it does make a difference in the climate,
elevation etc. because the best gravy I make, is made at my mom's house)

Mashed Potatoes

Steamed Broccoli

and Salad

She invited her cousin to join us
I like her,
she keeps an eye on mother when
I am not here
so that was cool

I thought her friends might call
but they didn't
I thought my oldest brother might call
but he didn't

I knew my grandmother would call
and she did
and Mother told her
I was here
and brought fresh peaches
for a cobbler
and we were going to stay here
and she would talk to her later

She didn't invite grandmother
and my alcoholic aunt who was visiting
to join us
and I didn't suggest it
I don't care for either of them
so it was best to not have them here

Both of my sons called to wish her
a happy birthday
and that made me proud.
Out of 5 grandchildren,
they were the only two that called.

My oldest had called me earlier in the month
and asked for confirmation
of when her birthday was
and he called on his own

I reminded the youngest yesterday
early in the day and
he called late in the day
so that was good.

Anyway, as we were sitting down
to eat
I thought
about how when you are older
everyone claims to not want
to celebrate birthdays
because it means
admitting you are getting older
and how even in my 40's
I don't like getting older
but I still like birthdays

and I realized
that a very special man
had once taught me
to not pay attention
to numbers
such as years passed
but to just think young
and try to feel young
and I do try to

I hope that when I am 74
there will be more
than 3 people at the table
celebrating with me
and that both my sons will be there
with their families
and my friends
will be there

but hell,
I hope that every year
they are there,
between now and then
and I know with the oldest in Seattle
that isn't going to happen for awhile...

Here is the other part of my thought
on birthdays

when someone doesn't want to celebrate
or have you sing Happy Birthday to them
and say things like
When you are (think big number)
let's see how much you like
having someone sing to you
and reminding you of how old you are.

what do you do?
I am going to sing anyway
give one dollar
for each year of the age
he wishes he was
and explain,
it is just a number
and I don't pay attention to numbers
only to the people
I care about
and he is one of them.

I hope that your birthday,
when ever it is,
is full of what you want it to be
and isn't a reminder
of how old you are
but how far you have come.