Ideal or Real? That is the question

The fabulously full moon
lit up the chilly winter night



It smiled down at me
as I sat in the big lounge chair



mind wandering
heart hurting


wishing upon a star
and wondering
where you are


you? you know
the man that is to love me
all of me

each part of me
equally and with vigor


recently met a new prospect
who was so clever in email
with wit and humor
to match few I have ever known
and a body that won't quit
his only admission of a set back
was that he is
folicularly challenged

what?
no hair to run my fingers through?
hmmmm well

that isn't a deal breaker
so just a few minor points
will be deducted...



then his "system" of weeding
out the women
was revealed
a 4 point system
where you receive all
or none of the point

It is there
or it isn't
You are acceptable
socially
physically
emotionally (and/or)
intellectually


or YOU AREN'T


as my system is a 100 pt scale
where you are scored
to the degree you are
folicullarly challenged
etc.
and if you are above 80 pts.
well, you are a catch to be sure



so tonight as the beautiful moon
and the crisp clean air
envelope me into the night
I contemplated what bothered me more


that in his eyes,
I did not "measure" up
and out of the 4 pts he awards
I am only half of his
Ideal woman
OR

that I am angry
at myself
for letting a guy
make me feel "less" than I am
yes I said that right

You see
I don't want to be someone's
IDEALISTIC Love
I want to be someone's
REALISTIC Love
someone who will love me
no matter what my challenges are
and that I KNOW
I will love no matter what his
challenges are
someone I can love for who he is
not who I want him to be
and
who loves me for who I AM
NOT for who he wants ME TO BE

and then the chill creeps in
I smile at the moon
the moon smiles at me

then as clearly as the moon
sails through the sky
I realize

I like being me
and when the man
who is meant to love me
comes along
he won't have a 4 point scale
he measures his women by
and he may not make 80 %
of my scale
we will measure each other
with our hearts
and life will balance out
beautifully