I watched a movie
called the Good Witch
It was a happy ending
Hallmark Movie
all the makings of a chick flick
still there was an element
that haunted me
as I watched it
The woman just wanted a home
a place she belonged
she had traveled all over
and even though she was a good person
people didn't accept her well
she never felt like she fit in
hmmmm
must have been a good reason
I picked that corny movie to watch
and yes
it was a universal theme
and she was
so much nicer than I am
but that is how I feel
like I never fit in
when that is all I have ever really wanted
a circle of good friends
a place to call home
a family that is close and loving
I guess I just didn't have the tools
to create that in my life
the life tools needed
for some it comes so easy
and for others it is so difficult
and many times
the friends I do have
I feel are not really my friends
they are just other people who have lives
that I peek in on
from the outside
to be invited in
every once in a great while
and when they are tired of me
or have better things to do
I am no longer allowed to look
or join in
whether for a short time
or for ever
it is a very odd feeling
this disposable society we now have
I feel the end of a relationship
with a friend coming
and that there is nothing I can do
to turn it around
I have tried to overlook
the idiosyncrises that annoy me
and let them go
I have tried to be a good friend
and yet sometimes
I know I have not been one
but not because I didn't want to be
sometimes
a friendship has just run it's course
and you have to let it go
and move forward
People change,
their lives change,
their bodies change,
their moods change,
their relationships with others change,
maybe friendships are like clothes
they get worn out
or they are out grown
and in some cases they may have been
hand me down friendships
that are appreciated but at the same time
despised for not being new ones
all I know
is that I feel
like I am on the outside
looking in
and all I want to do
is open the door
and find a home
that is safe, loving and inviting...
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3 comments:
Real friends never go away they are for ever.
I have friends around me that have been there from almost day one.
I have aquantances that come and go but they are expendable,
True friends are forever.
I don;t think you are supposed to make a friendship work, it just does and in most cases if it does sour its for something stupid.
I have a couple of best friends I should have shot years ago but they still live and breath, give me time LOL
People change and their priorities change along with it. Sometimes it affects how you used to be with your friends because you can't really do what you used to with them.
Like if you were all single and used to go out nad go hog wild and now if one is in a relationship you really can;t go out and looked for the same fun as you used to because in some cases the new love interest is tagging along or you don;t want to leave that person alone.
What I guess i am trying to say is that with change comes reconstruction of friendships. Some move along woth you and others become distant.
Great Post! I am sorry you are feeling that way. Sometimes things are worse in our minds than they really are in real life.
I agree with Walker, Friends that are friends are friends to the end.
Walker, thanks for the perspective... I know many people who have friends and consider them a friend 20 years later, even if they haven't seen them... I usually call them "old friends" but ever since my 20 year high school reunion, they don't really show up in my life anymore... I wish I was one of those people who had their friends around them their whole life, but I am not in the city I grew up in, and I haven't been in that city for 27 years. I am not in the city I moved to after that city and I haven't been for 10 years... so new friends it is for me... if any friends at all. Good advice though, thanks,
and Muse, although it seems it might have been you I was writing about, it was actually someone from work.
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