What I Miss / Happy Valentine's Day

In the last 6 months
a few men
have come into
my life
and
gone out of
my life.

I miss
the banter
and touching
with Mr. Turnaround

I miss
the laughter
with Mr. Sullivan

I miss
the attention
and willingness to drive
to see me
by Mr. Motorcyle

and I mentioned to the Muse
yesterday
when I said something
just the way
Mr. Turnaround
would say it
that I miss him

and her jaw dropped

I mean
I miss the good stuff

with some of them
for me
there was only good stuff

but with him
well with Mr. Turnaround

there were issues
and he kept saying
he would have more time later
he would call more in a week or two
or by the middle of Feb.

but that wasn't true
he was making choices
that didn't include me
so I let him go

but I do miss him sometimes
I think we all
think about good things
in our past and miss them
and miss parts of the people
that are no longer in our lives

I miss men I haven't talked to
in 25 years
and some who I haven't talked to
in only one year

but the things that pull you apart
the things that you wonder
if you could have gotten past
and chose not to

I do not miss those things

I guess all this mushy reminiscing
comes as Valentine's Day
is approaching

I think this is the first time in my life
that I am not upset
because I don't have
a man in my life
that constitutes wishes
of something special
on the day of love.

Now there are a few men
in my life
that I am glad are there
Like Mr. Jones
who
even though he lives far away
is calling on a regular basis
and is planning a trip to get together
I just don't know when
or where

then there is
Mr. Duvall

who said the forecast
was foggy
as to whether or not I would
see him this weekend
now that hunting season is over

but he calls to see how I am feeling
even though he knows
I am nearly fully recovered
from my illness

I told him today
that it was ok
that he
would miss me
in a few weeks
hunting season or
no
hunting season
and I would be happy
to share his company then

he laughed
and said I was probably right.

and then there are
a few men I have been talking to
but nothing has come of it yet

and yet,

I am not excited
I am not worried
I am not wishing

for anything special this next Wednesday

I think that is a sign of growth
in learning to be
An Army of ONE

Happy Valentine's Day
My blogger friends
I love you all...