Just a few Random Thoughts

I have thought of
at least
seven different posts
I would like to write
over the last few weeks
but they aren't
coming to fruition
in my head
so here are
bits and pieces
in one post

hold on boys,
it could be a bumpy ride
*********************
There is a man
a man who is
DEFINITELY
paying me good
positive, respectful
wonderful attention

I have been trying
since I wrote the V-Day post
to think of a nickname for him

NONE
I mean NONE have
come to mind
to stand for the essence
or hint at anything
of him, related to him
or sound right
for him....

then I wonder,
each time

What does that mean?
Does that mean I shouldn't
talk about him?
Does that mean he is above
a moniker?
Does that mean he will turn
into something greater than
the others over the last few years
or my whole life
for that matter?

or
Does it mean
simply
purely
that I have just
not thought of the
perfect nickname yet?

Simple answers are the best...
***************************
I am having trouble
with that concept this week.

Ever since I purchased
New Norah Jones CD

which speaks to me
on so many different levels
as if she were writing the words
because I couldn't

but it isn't full of simple
it is full of complex
thoughts
emotions
decisions
ideas
and all the little things
that should be simple in our lives
but aren't

like voting
loving
taking care of ourselves.

Anyway, since I bought that cd
I have listened to it
at least once a day
and some evenings
over and over

so, I am not handling
simple answers
or questions well.
*******************
Mr. Jones emailed me
on Monday
it was a one liner

"I wish I was spending this weekend with you"

and my lovely
complicated
over thinking mind

thought

Was that an invitation?
Is he wanting an invitation?
Should I break already made plans
so we might could get together?
Should I travel to see him
or expect him to travel here?

I emailed a reply
that I couldn't this weekend but
perhaps the next

he couldn't the next

He can't spring break either
dr. appts all week

I tried to think of a way
to do a stop over
on my way to my mom's
via air plane
since she said she would pay
but that was a
cluster fuck (see the stress? feel the stress?)

so after
several one line
emails over the course of
two days
I call
to get voicemail
and a little while later
he calls back

I ask
"were you thinking
you would like to come here
this weekend?"

and follow that,
before he has time to respond,
with

"I might could change my
plans, if so".

and he says

"No, I knew I couldn't this weekend,
I just wanted to let you know
I wish I could."

AHA
the fucking simple answer
I should have known

yea, I wish I could see him too
but alas
that will not be the case

but I will see someone
who is quickly becoming
very caring for me
and that will be nice too

********************

The house is rented now
the new renters asked
if they could paint
and I obliged
so
my "agent" called
and asked
"do you realize they are using
water based paint over the oil
based paint? "

uh no....

goat screw
that is what that is
or a
cluster fuck

take your pick

I can't do anything about it now
they aren't going to change directions
midstream
so I will have to fuck with it
when they move out.

oh boy, what fun
I have painted that house before
the window pane trim takes forever...

*******************************

I tried to talk to my supervisor
about the rumor
that she may move me
to another grade level
and how I feel I am at the level
and I mean grade level
that I feel I make the biggest difference
and that I can do that for her
or I can do that for someone else
because I will not teach another grade level.

but she didn't really say much
except that is a decision that is discussed
at the summative conference

well now I don't know whether to get on the
transfer list or not.
I did tell them that if I had to
I would go back to waiting tables
but I wouldn't be teaching a higher grade level.

so I may be a beach bum
next year
asking you to send me money
via paypal
while I lay on the beach
looking for the fishermen
or mermen on the beach.

sounds pretty good right now....

**********************

I am tired,
I have been working late
visiting other times
with my new friend
and trying to get some things in order
one of which is
selling/giving away
some furniture
so the furniture my mom
sent home with me
will fit in my apt.

finally feel that is coming together
but it will depend on the next
few days, like a week actually.

It remains to be seen....

*******************

On that note, I know I didn't cover
all seven
but I ready to do something else
for a little while...

like pop popcorn
and sit and eat it while
watching a bit of tv....

have a good one