Variety is the Spice of Life

One particularly beatiful day, I rode in the car with Amused Muse as we made our way to a small town not too far from her abode. Country roads, which I call two lanes, meaning one for the oncoming traffic and one for going our way traffic, although some people refer to as one lane roads. I have been down one lane roads, someone has to pull over so you can pass by them on those.

Anyway, we are driving down a twisty turvy (yes that is my made up word, it is a good one, leave it alone) road, and all of the sudden there is a man,

a man standing in the middle of the road...

a man standing in the middle of the road holding a sign...

oh did I forget to mention that Amused Muse was in a particularly nasty mood, with neither of us having had much caffeine and we were on a quest to find a geocache, in fact to be the first to find it? Anyway, she was very fussy to say the least and I was still not too awake, but not so fussy...

a man standing in the middle of the road holding a sign that said STOP

there was also a large truck that drove down the road the same direction we were traveling, but we could not follow. It became apparent to both of us that they were doing road construction and the road was... indeed, metamorphosized into a one lane road, and with much traffic, it didn't seem that it would be prudent to let the travelers traverse without assistance by the state on Good Friday of all days...

So, we are sitting there, watching the man, who is not particularly attractive, wearing blue jeans, a khaki workshirt, orange vest (so hopefully he won't be run over by a driver not paying attention) and work boots.

Amused muse is perturbed, she is fussing about how they have us waiting for road construction on Good Friday, there is a curve to the right so we can't see what Mr. Stopsign can see and we are waiting, and waiting and waiting... she fusses some more...

I try to think of a distraction, as I look at Mr. Stopsign... hey AM's boy toy, yes, I prefer boy toy to boyfriend, and if you know him, you know why... anyway, her boy toy distracts her with sex, so how can I work an angle that has to do with sex, but requires no physicality since we all know we both like men...

"Hey, I have a question.."

"what?" she says pissily (yea, I made that one up too, just now)

"Have you ever seen two similar penis's? I mean, aren't they all different? and you know, they are like a box of chocolate, you never know what you are going to get."

"hmmmmm.... that's a little deep for breakfast time conversation."

"I mean, think about it, look at Mr. Stopsign, how tall do you think he is? what do you think he is packing?"

"yuck" and I can see her wheels turning in her head (that's right RJ, you aren't the only one who can do that...

"I know there is nothing to those rumors, yes rumors, that if they have big feet, or big heads, or big hands they will have a big penis, and boy was I disappointed when I learned that was a hoax... "

she laughs, we are looking at Mr. Stopsign and now there is a car right behind us with an antsy bitch driving, who nearly didn't even slow down until she was on our ass... She is combing her hair and putting on lipstick... must be a Good Friday Luncheon or something ....

"You are being awful quiet AM... you don't like my topic?"

"No, I am thinking of all the men I can remember"

we both laugh

" I think the only commonality among men who were substantially endowed (yes, I reworded that) was that they were tall."

"well to me, anyone above 5'10 is tall"

"I am talking above 6'2"..."

"oh"

"yeah" and then I am thinking about Paul, my first love... wonder where he is... He was over 6'4" and he was hung like a horse... imagine my surprise to find that every man after that wasn't like him...

Then we start discussing different men who have been in our lives, and how some have straight penises, some that curve, some that look and act like they are substantial and aren't and some who have next to nothing but can put on a good show in bed just the same (overcompensation on some levels). We didn't really discuss names because see that didn't really apply.

So I look up and Mr. Stopsign is still standing there, beer belly hanging, he is about 6 foot or so...

"what about him, what do you think he is packing now?"

"yuck"

"I didn't ask you to sleep with him, just guesstimate what you think he has under his belt"

"Probably less than he would like, but more than others" ok, I thought that she might say that, but she didn't really...

what she said was...

"are you going to blog about this?"

"uh, I wasn't thinking about it, but now that you mention it... " we both laugh "I really just brought it up to get your mind off of sitting here waiting for him to turn the sign and we can go on our way"

I did want to say, in my defense and hers, that women don't usually have these conversations and I didn't find out a thing about her boy toy except that she obviously likes whatever he has and when he has it...

Personally, I have a preference, but it isn't so "defined" that many men wouldn't fit into it...

but now, when we go to the VFW, we will be discussing the possibilities of the men we see, just as banter between us ladies...

Oh and AM did tell me she has heard another possibility to determine the size of the package and what it holds by looking at the bridge of a man's nose... hmmmmmm so If I am staring at your nose, you will know why....lol

We have both had a little variety, and it is good to know we aren't all the same and yet we are...

What I didn't tell her, was about the men I know... or have known... but I won't be mentioning anyone would know here...

Short, cocky SOB, had nothing in size, but knew he way around a woman like none I have seen before

The Cat Man, man he had a package but he couldn't keep it inflated, the best oral I could have ever imagined

Man of my dreams (yes, he pops up in my dreams) didn't have length, but girth, but he knew how to use it to his advantage

Ex's- hmmmm both well hung, if they ever figured how what to do with it, I applaud the women in their lives now

and Paul, given it was my first experience, possibly the best I will ever know, given my adolescent ignorance... I loved him first, what can I say...

There were a few inbetween, but not noteworthy to mention... I do notice that men with not much of a package try to make up with it in cockiness...

Is that like the Napoleon Syndrome?