Every morning
well, nearly every morning
esp. since I have been here
with my mom
Tater has been writing
he has been writing email
to encourage me
and lift my spirits
So... each morning
I get up
I wake up a little
then I sit down
to see if I have an email
I doubted I would today
because we were up
past midnight chatting
and today he has much going on
But then,
as I look at my inbox
there is something from
my resume' writer
and there is something from
Yahoo Personals
and it is
MY Latest Matches
Now, I am not going to say
I don't know where they got my email address
or I haven't ever been there
I have
but not for a very long time
For over a year, I haven't
because I remember the event
that made me erase my profile
but they still send me updates
and being curious
I have told you I am a curious person?
I usually look to see
who is a good match for me
according to what Yahoo thinks
I sometimes see Mr. Turnaround there
or rather don't see him, but his ad,
and Mr. Sullivan
and perhaps someone else, but not usually
so today it came,
so out of a sense of gloating
I looked
and there was Mr. Sullivan
smiling up at me from the masses
and I immediately
had this knee jerk reaction
of HA! You are still here
and I have moved on
and opened up to someone
who opened up to me first
and you are still here
playing games
and using women
then I stopped myself
because when I thought of him
as a player
Mr. Turnaround came to mind too
who is a self confessed player
and who was probably there too
but I didn't look for him
My thinking immediately change
my sense of gloating
to a feeling of understanding
I wanted to gloat, because
I have found what I was looking for
a wonderful man in my life
But then I had to consider
that what I was looking for
was not what they were looking for
I don't know for sure,
but I suspect
they have found
what they are looking for
which in my view is...
a large group of ever changing women
to talk to and meet in a way that saves them money
rather than going to a bar
So, so much for the awful feeling
of wanting to gloat...
I mean, that isn't pretty is it?
But, yeah, I have found a great man
or should I say he found me
or actually, we found each other.
......I guess I need to figure out
how to stop those emails
better do it while I am thinking about it...
Have a great day!!
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3 comments:
I'm sorry for all you are having to deal with. I can't even imagine how difficult it must be. I enjoy reading about the good things going on in your life and smile when I sense you are doing the same. but, just for your information...I'm not out 'meeting' new women all the time(actually, not looking at all!) Just though I'd let you know, if you care at all. Take care of you while you are doing so for yours'.
Sorry if I hit a nerve, my comment comes from what I suspect or is a possibility, when in fact I do not know... so thanks for sharing, Take care !!!
So many women-so little time could be another theory. I think some men are just after the chase and the divide and conquer(ooooh, how is that for an analogy?) When they finally catch the object of their affection-the thrill is gone. Once they have conquered they simply move on.
It is so much easier than actually trying to invest time and committment into another human being. It is so much easier than sharing 'your' personal time and space with another. It is safe and uncomplicated.
It's like margaritas-the first one is so refreshing and enticing, the second one the sourness kicks in and you are left with that mucousy taste in the back of your throat, and then when you get to the third, fourth and fifth one you settled in you no longer want another margarita but there is still some in the pitcher you so drink it. And your drunk...paralyzed by the relationship and its ties that bind. So you 'wake up' and you're hung over and swear you will never have another one (and there you have it...another man done gone!)
Too bad! Good women are given up, men move one, or don't commit because of relationship hangovers. More shit that ain't right!
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