What Are You Doing With a Barbie?

I have tried to buy
really good gifts
for my mom
and the last few years
I have found
it difficult to buy her anything
she needs
and it is no longer
a good idea to buy
things of frivolry
that are dust catchers
or sun catchers
she has enough of those

so this year
at Thanksgiving
I tried to inquire
as to what she wanted

and the answer was
a shower head
with a hose
that isn't too stiff
or cold against your skin
that will turn off at the head
so she doesn't have to get up
off the seat in the shower
to turn the water off
or down
while showering

and you know what
I searched and searched
and I found it
along with a small pyrex dish
a spatula that is bendy
an egg slicer (she said she wanted one)
a gourd shaped like a fish
that is a bird house
a kitty kat ring holder
Salt and Pepper Mills
that look like rabbits
and improve hand strength
as you use them
and a Mariposa Barbie
(not to mention, a computer desk)
She liked them all
but she really lit up
when she saw the Barbie
It was like she was a little girl again
It was so fun to watch her get so excited
and I knew
I had done well
to surprise her
So I sat back and thought
about the history
of dolls in our family

When I was little,
I never played with dolls
at least not more
than once or twice
and I can pretty well remember
both those times
but my mom tried
and tried
and tried
to get me interested in dolls

My mom had dolls
she had gotten as a child
for Christmas
Madame Alexanders
Little Red Riding Hood
and others
that she had collected over the years

We were living
out in the country
and I was about 9 or 10
and we had a well house
where you had to insulate
the well so it wouldn't freeze
and Daddy didn't think
about mice and rodents
getting into it
so when they did
his solution
was to burn everything in
the well house
which included
my mother's dolls
she was crushed
almost as much
as the year he plowed
the gas line
that led to the greenhouse
in the dead of winter
and all her plants
died over night
so yeah, he wasn't perfect

*flash back to the other day

RJ looked into my back seat
There was a Barbie
sitting in her box
on the seat
It was the
Mariposa Barbie

Mariposa is Butterfly
in Spanish
She is a pretty Barbie
and I couldn't resist her
when I saw her in the store
while getting Hot Wheels
for my boys at school.

RJ said in an astonished voice
"What are you doing
with a Barbie?
You don't strike me
as a doll person..."

"She is for my mom"
I replied with a laugh
in my voice

"Your mom plays
with dolls?" he asked
indignantly

"NO, she just collects them"
I reply

then I started thinking
of the first one we gave her
the boys and I

I am not sure when it was
but I think what happened
was that my oldest
saw a holiday Barbie
maybe when we were buying one
for my step daughter
or considering it
and he though that my mom
would like it

and she did
she was so excited
that we were stunned
and new it was the beginning
of many years of
Santa bringing her a Barbie

My oldest hasn't been with us
for Christmas for a few years
but this year
when I saw her
I had to get her
and I am glad I did.

They are all still in their boxes
and someday
I will get them
and probably sell them
or maybe I will collect them
just to remember
how excited Ya was
when she opened them.

So if you see me with a Barbie
it isn't for me
it is to try to make up
for some of the misery
my father inflicted
intentionally or not.