Rambling On and On

I have thought of several posts to write of late. However, I haven't had enough time to "expand" on the thought and get it down on "paper" here
So this is a collection of some of my thoughts...
not in any particular order
other than the order of how I remembered them
when I sat down just now...

First of all
the week before I went to my mom's
I went to the cable company
and picked up a DVR
you know
one of those boxes that helps me
record shows and look at all the channels
and stop and start a show so I am not
missing a show

I had one a little over a year ago
and I got rid of it
to save on my monthly expenses

I missed it
I missed it every time I didn't get to see CSI
because I was watching Gray's Anatomy

and when I was at my mom's
and she could rewind and listen to what I missed

and I am loving it
I spent a good part of Saturday Night
watching shows from the week
since I wasn't home any night last week

Yeah, I know
I had a dinner date on Monday
(that's one that ain't working out)
Dinner with RJ on Tuesday
Dinner at PF Changs by myself on Wednesday
Thursday Muse and I went to happy hour at our favorite hangout
Friday I stayed at work til 9

Anyway, I loved sitting on the couch
speeding through the commercials
watching what I wanted to
when I had time to
It was nirvana
I watched CSI, Grays Anatomy,
Criminal Minds, Desperate Housewives,
Side Order of Life

I was sharing my thrill of watching
what I wanted to
with Mr. Duvall on Sunday afternoon
hee hee hee hee
and he asked if I had taped any
of the baseball games during the week

Shit... no, I wish I had thought of that
but I didn't.
but I will now.

I love the new show called
Big Bang Theory
it is hilarious
and I am cheering
for the geek in it
I love it

They are playing the Wii
on How I met your mother,
I love it
that is how the tennis is
btw if you haven't played a Wii

things are weird at work
and it doesn't look like they are getting any better
anytime soon,
but we will see
looks like it will come to a head tomorrow

keep ya posted
if it is worth talking about


A few weeks ago
when I was cooking
fried green tomatoes
I had to buy peanut oil
did I tell you that story?

at the grocery store
peanut oil comes in two sizes
one small bottle
just enough for a big pan full
or
it comes
in a 5 gallon bucket
now
I was standing in the store
thinking
what would I do with a
5 gallon bucket
then I had a vision
similar to mud wrestling
but with peanut oil instead
I left a voicemail
with Mr. Sullivan
because we had talked of it once
explaining the hilarious thing
that had just happened to me...

and weeks later, yes it has been
at least a month
I got an email from him today
asking if I knew
where he could get some
peanut oil
it was a much needed laugh
that I really needed.

I wrote back
that I had some in the swimming pool
in my spare room.


I hope he laughed too

funny, he has been in my thoughts of late
as others have as well
must be the time of year
and subtle reminders
like
the baseball playoffs
cooler nights
made for drinking outside
football season
I miss going to highschool football games
I know, I thought I never would
but I do...
it is just hard to watch them
when there is
not a child I know
that is playing
and I am not an alumni
nor is anyone I am with
since I have no one to go
to one with...

then again,
even when you choose not to date
doesn't mean
you never wish you had someone
to go to a ball game with

Cycles, things come and go
in cycles
I have a friend
or actually, now that I think
about it
TWO
that I have talked to
off and on
for several years
one for three
from early blogging days
who has gotten back in touch
and it was great
to chat with him
for an afternoon
he lurks here often
with my blessing
and even though
he has his own trials
and tribulations
we enjoyed a friendly reparte'
here just the other day
and it was great respite
from both our worries

and then there is the other one
I have known for over 6 years
and is in Australia
we met when I first started
struggling with insomnia
it was a perfect relationship
I was unable to sleep and online
he was just getting his day started
and was online
Over the years
we have talked on the phone
when he was flying through the states
and we chatted online when we were both here
and we have always flirted
in a friendly, innocent way
and sometimes
he would flirt more
and others, when i learned
he was dating someone
he flirted less
of late
he has been leaving me messages
every day almost
that are very flirty
and yet, I know
it is a cycle
that will end
when his loneliness subsides

today,
today, I wanted a shoulder
a hug, someone to talk to me
and that I could talk to

and so
the cycle returns
or the tides turn
and I wish I had someone
to talk to and hold
more often
than the
never predictable
Sunday afternoon

no matter how great it is
or well he has treated me
(which is amazingly well)
it is still what it is
and it isn't what I want
in the long run

I wish I knew
what the alignment
of the planets is today
so I could stay home in bed
next time

needless to say


it has been
A DAY
and a HALF

but now it is over...

I am off to write a birthday post
on Bennu Too
since I can't sleep...