Ok The Party's Over

Never in my life
have I had
more than one man paying me attention

I have never
had to break up with someone
in order to date someone else

and the last three weeks
the last three weeks
have been a roller coaster

But now it is over
and all the men have gone away
but man
most of it
well most of it
was wonderful

more attention
than I have had
in a very long time

and now
well now it has come to an end

and that is ok too

I told Mr. Turnaround
to turn around and walk away

I wanted to see Mr. Sullivan
exclusively

he tried to put up a fight,
but really there wasn't one
and he is gone

and then,
well then I told Mr. Duvall
about Mr. Sullivan
and he gave me his best wishes
and he bowed out
he knew what it was
and I knew what it wasn't
and we will always care about each other

and then I didn't have to tell
the other two, I just didn't call
them and they didn't call me
so that was really easy.

Then why am I not still seeing Mr. Sullivan?
He freaked out on me
what about
I am not really sure
but I am not in a place
to fight for him
for a "could be" relationship

so after a bit of shock
and anger
I gave in to it
and told him
I wished him the best

and even though ghosts
from my past
have raised their ugly heads
I have ignored them
and am looking forward

so today
today I am struggling
with
a battery operated drill
that seems to not have enough power
to penetrate
walls that seem to not
want to take a screw into
the sheetrock
and I am using my frustrations
to make that wall take that screw
or come up with another way
hang my new glass Witch's Balls

yeah I know,
I have more balls than most men
and that is why one doesn't hang around

and for now,
like
Leilana
I am good with that.
It isn't like I don't have things to keep me busy....
and my heart isn't ready
even though
I thought it might be

there is still too much distrust
and disappointment in others.

Hell I am so mad at the Muse
right now, I may have to give that friendship up as well...

* Update, the muse and I got over our "miscommunication and misunderstandings and made up.... and Mr. Sullivan came to his senses. I was ready to let him walk away, but he admitted he really did like me, he was just scared... hmmm we will see how far that goes...