My Summer Vacation

You know me
at least some of you do
well enough
to know
that the place I would love
to spend my summer vacation
is not in a room
with 20 something other people
learning about writing
but probably
would be
sitting by a body of water
sipping extremely strong
pina coladas

well I am doing the first one
so if I don't write for awhile
you will understand
I am doing it all day long
with a group of strangers
in person
and sharing
and hoping none of them
go home a google a phrase
or word
that will bring them here

and they are my guinea pigs
for my transformation

you know you have to do something
at least 30 times,
and more likely 90 times
before you make it a habit
and that is what I am trying to do

See ya on the 4th of July
(yep, it is that long)

Beware Of Strangers

We heard it as kids
Kids still hear it
and now there are programs in school
on how to spot a stranger
and what to do.

As I said in my last post
Tater and I encountered a stranger
as we returned from a long walk
two nights ago
it was after 10 pm
he was in jeans and a white t-shirt
with the sleeves torn off
and they were both baggy
He was with a car that was a POS
and he was inquiring
as to whether we could help him
with a flat
but he had no jack

now we didn't help him
but I did try to direct him
to some help (in a menacing way, I admit)

and as we were walking on down the street
Tater and I talked about
how sad it is
that you can't trust people anymore
actually I said
you never can tell if people are wanting to harm you anymore
and Tater said
you never could tell
and I retorted
well that's true
but any more there seem to be more people
pretending to be in distress,
when they are really
ready to cause harm
and that is sad
because people who really are in distress
are passed on the street
because people are afraid of getting hurt
they are afraid of strangers

I just know I was meant to live
in a simpler time and place
and some days
it is clearer than others

The best good samaritan I know
is RJ
we stopped one day
while walking around Woodlawn park
and helped a grandmother
put together a very fancy kite
for her grandson
it took us a good long time
even with his great engineering skills

but in the dark
in a weird spot
with a guy that didn't have a jack
and apparently no cell phone
to call a friend for help
it didn't seem like a good idea
to get involved
and I think Tater would have helped
if it hadn't seemed
so suspicious

My Thoughts Today

FUN NEE
Back around Spring Break
I wanted to revamp my resume'
After all, it hasn't been redone
in six years
and I thought
You know, it should be better than good
It should be able to get me a job
without an interview
and so
maybe
just maybe I should turn to a professional
so I look on line and all the resume' writers
are strictly by email and online
and I wanted someone to sit with
in person and talk to
you know OLD SCHOOL style
so I looked on ....
you guessed it
my favorite place...
Craigs List
and I call a couple of the ones listed
I explain my career objective
ask if they have any knowledge
of my career and the way to write
a resume to fit it
One guy is quite the salesman
tells me we can sit down
we can do it over the phone
and email
and when I ask
if it (my resume') will really "POP"
and get results
he pulls out all stops with his years
of experience
and how he has written resume's for others
who have my vocation

so we make a deal
and we get started
with me sending him a copy of my old one
then the shit hits the fan
my mom gets sick
I go up there
and we really do have to do everything
NEW AGE and not in person
and I send corrections
after corrections
and ask about the "SIZZLE"
I want to see
and he assures me
it will be great
and he doesn't respond to emails
promptly
or answer phone calls
and I get frustrated
and finally I think we have it
One resume' and Three cover letters later
I agree to pay half his fee
which is 65 dollars
and he will send me a hard copy
that POPS
so I put the money in his bank acct
which means I now have his address
and personal info
and he mails me a hard copy
so he has my personal address
and info (resume' info, duh)
and I drive home from mom's
and it is the middle of May by now
there is a big envelope in the mail
and I open it with great anticipation
and there it is
the same shit he had been sending me
via email all this time
so I call
and as expected
I have to leave a message
I am livid
I explain it is not just plain ol' vanilla
It sucks
and I want it fixed
so please call me
and as expected
he doesn't call
but I paid attention to his address
and he lives right at the end of my block
actually where my block t-bones
into another street
and so
I have to look at his house everytime
I drive down the street in that direction

I worked on my resume'
the muse proofed it
and now it really pops
Even though it seems I wasted money
he did have some pointers
that I would not have considered on my own
so I chalked it up to
some expensive pointers
and a lesson learned
I should go into the resume' writing business

The funny is
last night
Tater and I were walking
and as we started home down my street
there was a guy with a flat
right at the corner
and he had a problem
he didn't have a jack
even though he had a spare
so Tater and I were perplexed
and then it hit me
I pointed to the crappy resume' writer's house
and said
ask that guy
he is helpful
and it was late
after 10 pm
and the stranded guy said
are you sure?
and I said oh yeah
and Tater and I walked on
a little faster
so that we were out of sight
by the time the door was answered

so yeah, sometimes a little mean sneaks out of me
and creates a small quiet giggle....

Just Call Me Susie

I admit it
I have a horrible addiction
It is expensive
It is complicated
I catch hell from all around me
about spending my hard earned money
that I don't have
because I am not on the
Dave Ramsey Plan
on my addiction

I admit it

Hello, My name is Susie
and I am addicted to Starbucks

Today, I just had to have it
my sweet,
complicated
caffeine laced
coffee
with more cream
sugar
and flavorings
than any real coffee drinker
could ever even sniff
much less drink

so I pull up to the drive in window
where many a morning
I rattle off
my complicated drink
in size, flavor, extra shots
and whole milk (they use 2 percent,
which is good, but if I order whole milk
it is done up very fresh and very hot
and is, of course, richer)

and I expect the barrista
to rattle it back incorrectly
as more times than not
this is the norm,
not the exception
only
today,
today I get a very bright
up and coming barista
that I assure you
will aspire to bigger and better
shot tending
very soon
it happens every time
a good one comes along at this
particular Starbucks

and she rattles it back
perfectly
and I smile
and say
YES, Exactly
that was great
and then she asks my name
and I tell her
and then she asks me to repeat
and I do
and she says
Ok, SUSIE, please pull up to the window

I laughed my ass off
she got my name completely
wrong
but my coffee
was
perfectamundo
so
you can call me Susie
anytime,
as long as you get
my fucking coffee
wonderfully correct

esp. early in the morning
when I really need to wake up

The Anti-Climax

Another school year came to an end
Officially on Thursday
but I still had a couple of loads
of stuff to haul out of my classroom
and now I have an apt. full
of school stuff to figure out
where to put

I was moved from a great position
as a Kinder teacher
to my next favorite of 4th grade
I like the 4th grade teachers
I just don't want to store my Kinder stuff
for another 10 years,
like I did the first time

The positives of it are:

I will be in a portable- so....
I can work in my classroom any time
not just when the building is open
I can control my heating and AC
I am away from other distractions in the hallway
There is a huge, beautiful Oak tree right outside
and so it is a very beautiful spot to be in
and it is a large, spacious portable
with a great set of cabinets and counter

The negatives are:

Same campus
4th grade
same vice-principal
possible same principal (she announced on Thurs
that she may be retiring,
I am trying to not hold my breath
but my fingers are crossed)

really, I guess there aren't many negatives
not as many as I had built up
in my head

it is a risk
for reasons I won't state here
but it is a risk
I was poorly evaluated this year
when I had glowing evaluations in all previous years
which makes no sense
but others
who don't know me
would wonder why
what went wrong

so it is risky to stay and try to overcome
the hurdles

but the year is over
the people that were a thorn
are not around all day
and I am in a place
where I can exhale now
but I am still holding my breath
like the other shoe
hasn't dropped yet
so there hasn't been
a really exciting climax
but a tapering off
of what was
to a few weeks of rest
to another year
that has got to be better

I had a great
great, great interview
on Thursday
and they are suppose to let me know
soon, very soon,
either way....

so maybe that is what I am waiting for
it was a great school,
a great interview
and I am definitely holding my breath
and my crossing my fingers
hoping I will be offered the position
for a great new start
in a great new place
so I will post as soon as I know...

my pessimistic friend says
prepare to not get it
so that if I do
it is a bonus

afterall
there aren't many negatives
about staying where I am...

cross your fingers and toes for me
will ya?

and when I exhale, I will let you know

A Jade Martini in a Sea of Strawberry Daiquiris

Last Friday
two of my favorite people
RJ and the woman
I introduced him to
were honored
with wedding shower
at a local watering hole
by the folks that she and I work with

I was asked to help with the shower
which was nice
because we usually use the inner circle
of each dept. to be in charge of things like that
and she and I are not in the same dept.

So I made flower arrangements for the table
not fresh flowers, just some silks
and I tied the balloons on the railings
and sat at the hostess table
while I am sure
that my coworkers
(I don't give them the honor
of being colleagues)
wondered why I was at the hostess table

Drinks were ordered at the bar
and I taught the bartender
how to make a Jade Martini
from my favorite bar
which
as the title states
is GREEN

and as I walked around
and mingled
with people from all other depts.
I noticed my boss
listening and watching
and then I was very aware
that I haven't gone to any
of their happy hour outings
all year
mainly because they are
right after work on Fridays
when I like to stay late and get things done
and
I don't really want to socialize with
most of them
and then I noticed
all the frozen drinks
that people were drinking
and realized
I am not a leming
I am not one to just go along with the crowd
I am not going to fit well in any group
not ever
not even when I want to be

I am a a Jade Martini
in a sea of Strawberry Daiquiris

I knew when I was in school
that I was different
I knew when I worked in the food service industry
that I was different
I knew when I was married
and in social situations
that I was different

and this year
this year
I was asked to be a leming
to not be different
to change
to be the same
to be non descript
to not stand out
to not rock the boat

Jade martinis have rum in them
just as a daiquiri does
they are basically
going to have the same effect
and yet
they don't taste the same
they don't look the same
they don't come in the same glass

How could anyone expect
to turn a Jade Martini
into a Frozen Strawberry Daiquiri?

I need to find a place
where Jade Martini's are accepted
for what they are
and what they have to offer

If there is such a place