Just a post

I feel compelled to post,

though I've not a clue what about

so this is merely a rambling
mumbled mess... or so
I imagine it will be

Have I told you
how much I want
someone to send me
flowers on the first day of school?

I told my son
but imagine he will
have all his money spent
by then

I told my mother
who promptly told me
that she would rather
wait til she sees me
and take me shopping

well that would be nice
but she won't really "go"
she will hand me money
that she thinks is "alot"
but in reality might not buy
more than a shirt
and instruct me to drive
to Hick Town and get several things
that are really swanky
for me to wear

so all my avenues for flowers
have been traveled
with no success
so perhaps I will buy those flowers
myself...

Have I told you
that school starts tomorrow
and I brought stuff home to work on
over the weekend

I still need to make playdough
finish Homework notebooks
make a behavior management system
that involve plaster of paris
and flowers on dowels
in a galvanized tub

I am making two
One for me
and one for a buddy teacher

and she is cutting
the tennis balls
for my chairs
or rather
her father in law is

I also need to make
flower pens
write the weekly newsletter
and finish my lesson plans.

Yeah, not much of a weekend
I know,
but maybe, just maybe
I will sleep tonight
if I am ready

I also want to go shopping
for one new outfit to wear
tomorrow
but don't know if I will get to it.


Did I tell you
I picked my phone up
out of my purse
and it had
the white screen of death
I can't see who I am calling
or who has called me
but it will ring if someone calls
and I can talk
I can put in someone's number
on the keypad and
call them
so if I do go shopping
I will be stopping
at the Radio Shack
to see about another one
and then choose...
phone... or
new outfit
phone... or
feeling pretty
phone.... or
something that will last
more than 3 months

this is my 4th phone this year
that is ridiculous.

I can't keep a phone
why would I think
I could keep a man
lol

so yeah
No news in that area
still not dating
still not worrying about it
but every once in awhile
(usually when reminded
by some insensitive ass
who asks "why" I don't
go out on the weekend,
and where are all those men
from just a bit ago)
every once in a while
I think I would like to

then I think again
and say "no"
still not ready


although, I know
Mr. Turnaround
is back in town
and I have thought
of him as well
starting his new year

I just reflect on my mistakes
and how I don't want to
make them again

Passion has it's costs
Not being on the right page
at the right time
doesn't help

so even though
the thought of dating
crosses my mind
I have too much to take care of
right now
myself included

esp. since my son
is still here
and not looking like
he will move any time soon.

so those little
chill pills in my purse
that I was
taking
"as needed"
which was 1
in the last 2 months
has dwindled to 10
in the last week.

Stress
lack of sleep
too much to do
too little time
anticipation of financial obstacles
the end of yet aonther "tie" with my last husband
which brings mixed emotions
each time one comes up
although it is great
to be out from under them
it still brings me sadness

it doesn't really matter
how bad you want something
to work
relationship wise
you both have to want it
or be willing to give it

so that is all
just a post
sharing random thoughts
early on a Sunday morning
before I "officially" start
a new year
so tomorrow
is the start of something big

send your self flowers...

looks like I will be...

Oh yeah, I am all over that one
thanks mom